The Day Before
by InvderLava
Summary: The day before Metro Man Day, a different kind of supervillain attacks Metro City. When Metro Man is drastically injured, only the city's resident criminal mastermind can save the day... and Metro Man's life. Co-written by Invderlava and Seiaa. WIP.
1. The Unexpected

**Title:** The Day Before

**Authors:** Invderlava and Seiaa

**Rating:** PG for endangerment to Super Heroes (Note: Chapter ratings will vary)

**Characters/Pairing:** Megamind, Roxanne, Metro Man, Minion, Warden, Mayor, various others, and a few OCs; Megamind/Roxanne

**Summary:** The day before Metro Man Day, a different kind of supervillain attacks Metro City. When Metro Man is drastically injured, only the city's resident criminal mastermind can save the day... and Metro Man's life.

**Authors' Note:** Super Special thanks to Threequarterfox and Arrowtibbs on LJ for being awesome betas!

* * *

To say that Metro Man would have never been able to guess the outcome of the day's events would have been an understatement.

It had started out predictably enough. He'd woken up, gotten ready for the day, and had stopped three attempted burglaries, five car accidents, and prevented two buildings from burning down- all before he'd even had the opportunity to eat breakfast. Which was all fairly routine for him at this stage in his career.

His career…. He sighed, pulling a small calico kitten from a tree and handing it to the little girl down below. She took the kitten into her arms and looked up at him with starstruck eyes. "Thank you, Metro Man!" she gushed, hugging the kitten tightly to her chest as she swayed back and forth.

Metro Man reflexively smiled his trademark smile at her before it softened into something more sincere. "You're welcome, little citizen! Next time try to keep your Rhino out of the trees and sticking to the natural habitat of little kittens! Goodbye, and stay safe!" He waved at her before he took off into the air, leaving her behind to cuddle her kitten, oblivious to the fact that her hero's smile had fallen off his face once more.

He wasn't really sure just what it was that he'd been feeling recently. He should feel excited- he was getting a museum dedicated to him the next day! That was super cool, and he was extremely grateful, but he just couldn't really muster up any sort of anticipation for the event when he thought about it.

The only thing that got him even a _little_ excited was the idea that maybe, just maybe, his little buddy would have something special cooked up for the whole thing. Megamind was in jail currently, but he was sure to break out for the occasion.

Something huge and flashy, something challenging, something... extraordinary. That was exactly what he needed, and he hoped Megamind would deliver.

Suddenly, there was a dip in the ambient noise around him, and he immediately paused in the air, tensing- before an explosion rocked the outskirts of the west side of downtown and Metro Man immediately zoomed off towards the disturbance. As he passed by the screaming and panicking citizens, he thought furiously on who it could be causing the destruction. There was no way it was Megamind, for the supervillain would never have set off an explosion in a populated area. Not an uncontrolled one anyway. Not to mention the fact that he wouldn't want to get caught today and waste the opportunity to try and ruin the dedication tomorrow.

The superhero didn't know who to expect when he approached the origin of the explosion. Most supervillains besides Megamind hardly ever attacked Metro City (and Metro Man had his suspicions as to why that was, considering he very rarely even fought any of the villains from the Doom Syndicate). But when he arrived and saw only a normal looking man standing in the center of the debris, his back to the hero, Metro Man slowly set his feet down among the rubble. He peered around, noticing that the explosion didn't seem to have been caused by a standard bomb, and, examining the man in front of him, the hero noted that he was completely unarmed.

_Oookay, so what caused the explosion?_ Metro Man wondered, furrowing his brow.

"Excuse me, citizen," he began.

The man jerked violently, obviously startled, and his whole body lit up. Metro Man's eyes widened and he flew back several feet as the man twisted around to glare at him. He almost seemed to be glowing. Scratch that, he _was_ glowing.

Not just his eyes, which would imply that he had some kind of laser vision, but his entire being was surrounded by an unnatural orange glow, most of it concentrated at his hands and eyes. It almost looked like fire. A strange sort of glowing, pulsing fire, but it was the only way Metro Man could think to describe it to himself.

"Metro Man!" the illuminated man growled, crouching low like a cornered animal.

The hero was a little confused as to why this man seemed angry at him, and he did not like where this was going. However, the city was in trouble and he would protect it.

"Citizen," he tried to start again, but the man interrupted once more.

"My name is Evan- I mean," the man backtracked. "It's _Plasma Blade_, Metro Man! Not _citizen_! You think you're so great, but you don't put any effort into knowing who you protect in your _precious city_, do you?" His words were punctuated by a burst of power, the orange aura extending outward from his body even more.

Metro Man could feel the hairs on the nape of his neck standing on edge, and he found himself floating back further. He paused for a moment before deciding to handle the situation with more caution than he usually employed when dealing with supervillains.

There was something about this guy that left him feeling _extremely_ wary, and Metro Man was not the type of man to ignore his gut when it told him something.

"It's not possible to know _everyone's_ name in the city, Ev- Plasma Blade," Metro Man told him with a reasonable tone, using the second name to try to keep him placated. His hands moved on their own accord in front of him to form a 'calm down' gesture.

Plasma Blade paused for a moment, seeming to consider this, and the glow around him dimmed slightly. "Well that's true I suppose..." he said, trailing off with a sudden frown. "But that's not the point!" he exclaimed, the strange fire flaring around him again. "The _point_ is that you think that you're so amazing, but you don't think about how you and your actions affect others' lives!"

Metro Man frowned in complete bewilderment. "What have I done that's affected your life? I've never seen you before today!"

"That's _exactly_ it!" the man shouted, taking a few steps forward. "You just do whatever you want all the time, all in the name of 'justice', but you don't even think about the _repercussions_!"

"Of course I do!" the hero retorted, offended at the mere suggestion. "I'm _always_ careful when I'm saving the city. I know that the fights can get destructive if they get out of hand-"

"No, no, NO!" Plasma Blade screamed, and a blast of the strange fire shot from his hands and eyes towards Metro Man's direction.

Metro Man didn't even think before he dodged to the right of the blast, avoiding it like the plague, his hands clenching tightly in a spasmodic twitch.

As Evan shuddered over his use of energy, the hero wondered about his own instantaneous reaction. He barely had any time to think on it however, before the villain was shaking off the effects and focusing once more entirely on him.

Several more shots of the odd fire were sent his way and Metro Man dodged every single one quickly and effortlessly. Despite the recoil and slight delay the man seemed to go through every time he used his power, he was very fast. Not as fast as Metro Man of course, but still.

It seemed as if this villain was a tougher human being than Metro Man had ever encountered before.

The blasts were becoming more frequent and even more erratic as the man's rage seemed to grow. The pavement beneath their feet was suffering and so were the surrounding buildings. Luckily, the whole area had seemed to have been evacuated, but Metro Man grew increasingly worried about the potential casualties.

"You should really be more careful about where you throw that fire, Ev-Plasma Blade!" the hero shouted.

The villain stopped and stared at him for a long moment, panting from the overexertion, before letting out a high pitched indignant shriek that even Megamind would have been proud of. "It's not FIRE, it's _PLASMA_!"

The shots became even more frequent and Metro Man groaned inwardly.

He wanted this over with as soon as possible. So in the split moment Plasma Blade's glow dimmed once more in preparation for another blast, Metro Man ceased being on the defensive and dashed in, pulling his right arm back, preparing a punch strong enough to knock the man out but not enough to excessively hurt him.

Evan's face was contorted in a viscous snarl, and even as the hero swung forward with his calculated force, the plasma charged up once more.

His fist connected with Plasma Blade's face the same time the last blast exploded from the villain's hands, striking Metro Man in the chest at point-blank-range.

Metro Man gasped for breath as the villain flew a short distance and crashed against the ground, finally losing consciousness. The hero floated down slowly, clutching at his chest and hunching over from shock and pain. That last shot that the villain managed to get through had been a doozy. He'd had a bad feeling all throughout the battle, but now…. His senses were screaming at him that something was definitely Not Right.

Panting lightly, he walked on the ground to where the villain had fallen, unconscious from exhaustion and the blow. Metro Man leaned down and grabbed him, holding his wrists together in case the plasma powered man regained consciousness mid-flight. The hero did not want to be subjected to another dose of the villain's plasmic energy.

As Metro Man took to the air, he swallowed heavily. His muscles were twitching and he felt overheated, beads of sweat trailing down the sides of his face and jaw. He was growing increasingly worried about his state of health, especially when he found himself, for lack of a better word, stumbling mid-air as he flew.

He had to get Plasma Blade into police custody before whatever it was that was happening to him made him lose control of himself. He'd never been sick before, but he'd always worried that if he ever did he would lose control of his powers, sneezing and activating his laser eyes, crushing things without ever knowing he was doing it…

His mind was becoming fuzzy. He could no longer remember when he'd managed to make it to a police officer and hand the villain to them. He blinked hard, trying to focus his vision. Metro Man could hear the officer talking, but he couldn't process what it was they were saying. He managed to procure a weak grin from somewhere, saying… something to the officer, something hopefully reassuring and not suspicious.

He had to get home. He would get home, crawl into bed, sleep whatever this was off, and he would be fine in the morning. Until then, he had to keep everyone calm and unaware. Easy.

Metro Man said goodbye to the officers and jumped into the air.

He immediately came crashing down.

He could no longer hear the panicking voices of those around him, or even the feel of the ground below him. All he could concentrate on were the wracking pains coursing through his body and the pounding in his skull. He curled into himself, whimpering from the unbelievable pain.

What was happening to him? How could a last desperate attack from a superpowered villain cause him so much trouble? This had never happened before; _nothing_ had ever hurt him like this before….

Tears were brought to his eyes as he attempted one last fight to wrestle the pain to manageable levels, his hands digging deep into the concrete below.

The agony reached a crescendo before he knew no more.

* * *

Chief Gregory Quimby of the Metro City Police Department was disturbed from his concentration of trying to stick a modified paperclip paper airplane into the ceiling when the phone on his desk began to ring. Startled, he dropped his plane and lost his balance in his tipped back chair, the front legs slamming back to the ground. After catching his breath from the slight adrenalin, he snatched the phone off the hook.

"What?" he snapped into the receiver, leaning down to grab the paper from the ground. It had slipped underneath his desk.

"Chief!" cried a panicked officer on the other end. Quimby couldn't tell who it was. "Chief, Metro Man has collapsed!"

There was a loud THUNK as Quimby tried to jerk upright, hitting the back of his head on the desk. He swore up a storm, holding the phone against his jacket and his free hand against his head. After a moment as the pain dulled, he brought the phone back up to his mouth, speaking lowly. He couldn't have heard what he thought he did.

"Say that again?"

"M-M..." the poor officer began again, stuttering. "Metro Man collapsed, Chief!"

Quimby pulled the phone away from his face and stared incredulously at the receiver in his hand. Metro Man didn't _collapse_. He was... Well, he was _Metro Man_. The officer was saying "Chief? Chief!" and Quimby put the phone back to his ear.

"What happened?" he demanded, already standing. "Where are you? Is anyone else there?"

The police chief began grabbing his things as the panicked officer on the other end of the line spoke. "There was some guy terrorizing the city and he brought him to us unconscious. Then he went to fly away but he… he fell! And he's not movin' or anything!"

Quimby returned to swearing. "I'll say it again. _Where. Are. You?_"

"B-by the old docks on the east side," the officer said, still obviously panicking. "Chief, what should we do?"

The chief stopped, unsure. What should they do? What _could_ they do? This situation was unprecedented, and he had no idea how to continue. It was _Metro Man_, he thought helplessly, feeling like a lost child.

It occurred to him in that moment that his reaction, and those of his officers at the scene, would be magnified exponentially if the citizens of Metro City got word of what had happened. There would be mass panic, and chaos in the streets. Everyone would be terrified. He knew he was.

Greg Quimby took a shaky breath and made a decision.

"Try to keep calm," he ordered the officer on the other end, trying to remember his name. "Get Metro Man out of the public eye, and _don't_ inform any press who show up what happened. Keep everything quiet, do you understand me?"

"But… but Chief-"

"Officer Johnson, this is of the utmost importance. _Do you understand me_?" Quimby interrupted, infusing his voice with as much urgency as he could, trying to make things clear.

The line was quiet for a brief moment before "Yes, sir. I'll get on it right away," came through, in a significantly more calm voice than before. Quimby had a feeling that Johnson was relieved that he had someone elses orders to follow. He wished he could be that lucky.

"Good. See that you do," he said before he reached over and hung the phone back in its cradle on his desk, leaving Johnson on his own with a small group of panicked officers and two unconscious superpowered men to deal with.

Quimby stared blankly down at the wood of his desk. _What next?_ he thought, before he picked the phone up again, dialing. He brought it up to his ear.

"I need to talk to the mayor."

* * *

The Mayor of Metro City sat at his over-sized desk in City Hall, concentrating intently on the task at hand. He moved a stack of forms to the tall tower of documents and other important papers sitting to his left, then he added a few official letters to the smaller stack of papers on his right.

Finally, everything was in place.

He reached towards the top of the tall stack of papers to his left and WOOSH Metro Man The Action Figure came swooping down into action! "Fear not helpless citizens of Metro City! I'll save you!" the Mayor said, doing his best to imitate the deep heroic voice of Metro Man.

His free hand darted out and grabbed the paper clip holder, bringing it to the center of the stage. He rattled it. "Oh look!" he squeaked. "It's Metro Man! We're saved~! Yaaaay~!" the paper clip citizens exclaimed.

The large blue eraser sitting on the other stack of paper suddenly leapt to its nonexistent feet. It had an angry face drawn on it in sharpie, along with a goatee. "Oh no! It's Metro Man!" exclaimed the Megamind eraser, looking to the Evil Goldfish Cracker Minion at his side. "We've lost! RUN AWAAAAAYYYYY~!"

As the cracker and eraser made a break for it, suddenly Metro Man The Action Figure leapt in their way. "Not so fast, Megamind. You're going to jail where you belong!"

And with that the action figure scooped up the offenders and carried them over the desk drawer, dropping them inside and slamming it shut. He flew back to the paper clip citizens and stood triumphant.

"Once again the day is saved~!" the Mayor exclaimed with delight, leaning back in his chair, kicking his feet happily.

"Mr. Mayor?"

The Mayor yelped, throwing his arms over his desk, reflexively trying to hide the Action Figure but only managing to knock over the piles of paperwork-turned-skyscrapers. The papers spilled onto the floor, spreading out around the desk.

It was all for nothing, as the voice of his secretary had only come through the intercom and she could not see him anyway.

The Mayor blushed, embarrassed by his overreaction, and pushed the button on the intercom. "Yes?"

"Chief Quimby is on line three for you. It sounds urgent," she told him, her voice tinny from the speaker.

"Right, thank you." He pushed the button for line three. "Yes, Chief?" he asked as he put the Action Figure and paper clip holder in the same drawer as the eraser and the Goldfish.

"Mayor," came Quimby's voice, "you need to know that if the information I'm about to tell you got out to the public, there would be mass hysteria among the citizens."

The Mayor stared at the phone. "Uh," he said. He felt like he was in a spy movie. "Noted, Chief."

"Metro Man collapsed by the docks on the east side of town."

The Mayor blinked. Then he blinked again.

He laughed. Loudly and nervously. "Now, Chief, that's not a very funny joke."

There was dead silence on the other end of the line.

"You're... not joking?" the little man asked, incredulous.

"I haven't gone down there yet. I think we should both head over," Quimby said on the other end of the line. "I'll come by and pick you up. We'll attract less attention in my cruiser than your limo."

The Mayor stared at the phone for a long time. "I... of course, Chief."

"I'll be there in five," the man said before he hung up.

The Mayor of Metro City stared at the phone before leaning forward again to hang it up. He sat there, shell shocked, not quite sure what to do. It hadn't sunken in. It couldn't really be happening. Could it?

He reached down and opened the drawer, looking at the action figure as it lay there, face down where it fell.

* * *

Morning dawned brightly in Metro City, sun rising, the sky clear and beautiful, but Minion was too busy preparing everything for that day's evil plan to go outside and admire it. He'd woken up at an ungodly hour to go set up the Observatory, taking a few Brain Bots- Painter Designation- with him to speed up the process of painting the huge red X on the floor. (He still had red paint staining the bottom of his feet, annoyingly enough, even after his attempts to clean it off.)

As he herded the Brain Bots not being used for the plan into their designated area so they wouldn't destroy anything while he was out, he double checked his mental list of things to prepare for, making sure he hadn't missed anything.

The watch had been sent and was nearly at the prison according to the UPS shipment tracker, the proper Brain Bots knew what their jobs were (some of them having taken far too long to be wrestled into their disguises), the dirigible Smoke Machine was inflated and completely prepared for use, the Death Ray's position above the Earth had been calculated and was correct, the fake observatory was all set up (including Miss Ritchi's chair), the alligators had been fed and moved to the tank underneath the chair, and both Plan B and an escape route were all planned out, just in case.

He hoped he wasn't forgetting anything as he grabbed the keys to the invisible car, gesturing for the disguised Brain Bots to get in the back seat. He set a box of doughnuts on the floor of the passenger side as he sat down. All that was left to do was drop off the Brain Bots, kidnap Miss Ritchi, and go get the boss.

Minion put car in gear and smiled, thinking, _I've got a feeling that today's gonna be a good day._

* * *

In the lobby of Metro City General Hospital was the Mayor, getting his fifth cup of coffee. His face was creased with stress and lack of sleep, and his suit was disheveled. There were very few people around him, only the receptionist at the front desk who paid no attention to him and the occasional intern walking through.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to relax, before he downed his coffee. He wondered how Quimby was doing out there, trying to keep everything covered up, but he couldn't worry much about that, what with all his concentration on Metro Man's condition and the updates on what the doctors could make of it.

No one had any idea what was wrong with the hero. The doctors had no way to check his health, as Metro Man was immune to x-rays and scanners and all those other procedures that the Mayor didn't understand.

The superman was just… unconscious. And in pain. Which was the main thing everyone was worrying about. Metro Man didn't feel _pain_. He just… he _didn't_.

He also didn't collapse in the street, the Mayor thought, despairing of the situation.

He had no idea what to do, and if he thought too hard about it he would start to panic. _That_ was the reason he had agreed with Quimby's decision to keep everything quiet for now. The Mayor knew as well as the Chief that Metro Man's presence was what kept things in order in the city. He wondered if they all relied on the hero too much.

The Mayor took another long drink of his coffee as his mind started down another panic-inducing path. What if Megamind found out? What would he do?

Why, he would take over the city and turn all the citizens into a slave army! March them across the States, taking over and being... evil! He would probably turn them all into piggies!

The mayor paused. Could Megamind turn anyone into a pig? That seemed too magical for him. But it was so EVIL that he must be able to! Or worse turn them all into robots. Or robot PIGS!

The little man quickly took another drink of coffee and decided to buy a box of doughnuts. As he munched on one on his way back up the elevator to the waiting room, a horrible thought occurred to him. He stared at the pastry in his hand. What if Megamind turned them all into DOUGHNUTS? And fed them to his army of giant robot piranhas? ...The Mayor decided that he would be a delicious doughnut.

Stepping out of the elevator and into the waiting room, he moved to the desk and the woman manning it. "Any updates on Patient 5243?" he asked her, using the designated number because she wasn't aware of who it was. His hands clutched at the box and cup of coffee.

She shook her head at him and his hopeful face fell. "Not since you went downstairs, Mr. Mayor."

"Right, thank you," he said, morose. He wandered over to the chairs, lost in his panicky thoughts. He'd been fretting over the repercussions of the current situation all night, and he felt strung out. He gulped down the rest of coffee and slouched in his seat, pulling out another doughnut. As he took a bite, he looked up at the TV hanging from the wall across the room. Someone had changed the channel to the local news station while he'd been downstairs.

"Happy Metro Man Day, Metro City!"

Doughnut crumbs spewed all the way across to the other set of chairs. Coughing, the Mayor stared in horror at Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live from downtown in front of the Metro Man Museum.

_He'd forgotten about the museum dedication._

* * *

When Roxanne awoke to a bag over her head and the sound of muffled evil laughter, she immediately started to wonder _why_ she hadn't jumped into the van as soon she'd gotten done with her report. She'd seen this kidnapping coming. Honestly, dedicating a museum to Metro Man was like sending an engraved invitation to Megamind for him to do evil things. One of them being him kidnapping her.

She struggled halfheartedly in Minion's ironclad but gentle grip, swearing at them both. Then, she was sat in the Kidnappee chair and she waited, and waited some more. She groaned in frustration. The bag really smelled quite rancid and he was probably sitting there...grooming his eyebrows or something!

When the bag finally came off, Megamind turned in his chair slowly, petting a Brain Bot. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

What happened next was as per usual. He wanted her to scream and she wouldn't scream. One of his Brain Bots bit him. He tried to scare her with various and assorted evil devices and she wasn't scared.

Roxanne finally heaved an exasperated sigh as the little blue alien's face was smashed in by Minion's robotic hand swatting at the spider Roxanne had blown into the genius' eye.

She eyed his crumpled form in what could only be described as frustrated sympathy as Minion, in his several-hundred pound robotic gorilla suit, also tried to _step_ on the spider as it escaped down the villain's body.

Shaking her head, she hunched her shoulders and leaned downward to make sure he heard her while he writhed from the stomp to his... lower extremities. "Just give it _up_ Megamind. Your plans. _Never. Work._

Surprisingly, Megamind made a quick recovery and leapt to his feet. He looked... almost hurt. Not in the "my male alien parts, whatever they may be, just got stepped on by a robot" kind of way but in an actual emotional sort of way.

She couldn't have actually hurt his feelings, could she?

"Let's just call your boyfriend in tights, shall we?" he demanded, seemingly doing his best to retain his composure.

Then, the Brain Bot that had bitten him before, and was subsequently flung somewhere in the air, finally fell. Onto his hand. With its teeth.

Roxanne actually winced as Megamind let out what was definitely not a Poor Lady Scream, but a very Good Lady Scream.

* * *

The Mayor very nervously got onto the platform before the crowded plaza, stepping behind his podium. He looked out into the massive gathering and gulped.

It wasn't often he felt this nervous before a crowd, having long since gotten used to the sensation, but this was a special, and rather terrifying, case.

He cleared his throat into the microphone, and the plaza grew quiet, anticipating the dramatic arrival of their wonderful and adored hero.

The Mayor took a deep breath to try to fortify himself and lie to thousands of people.

But before he could get a word out, screams erupted from the back of the crowd and several villainous and instantly recognisable Brain Bots flew towards the museum. The also very familiar giant black smoke cloud appeared behind the statue, rising up higher and higher until it obscured the sky above them completely.

The Mayor hated his life.

He watched with overwhelming dread as the last ray of sunshine disappeared and Megamind's Evil Visage was projected onto the walls of the museum.

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- … ha... ah? Eh?" the villain exclaimed and then trailed off upon seeing a distinct lack of Metro Man present on Metro Man Day outside of the Metro Man Museum in Metro City.

He leaned forward towards the screen until the citizens gathered in the square could only see one large green eye peering around.

"Metro Maaan? Ollooo?" he called, as if he thought Metro Man would really be hiding from him. "Olly olly _ozai_ free~!"

There was an odd snorfle noise in the background that sounded suspiciously like Roxanne Ritchi choking on her own spit.

Megamind pulled back and looked down at the Mayor. "Where _is_ he!" the villain demanded, and the Mayor cringed behind his podium.

"Uh... uh..." the small man tried to say, "Unfortunately, he, uh. Couldn't make it. Because of a, uh. Family... emergency?" He cringed as he realized that last part had come out sounding like a question.

Megamind didn't seem to notice the slip up, thankfully.

"_WHAT?_" the villain screeched, causing the microphone to squeal and one of the Brain Bots to rattle from the vibration within its little speakers. "How... how _rude_!" he declared, spluttering.

The Mayor shrank back further, trying to hide beneath the podium at this point. "Y-yes, well..." he began, but Megamind was too busy ranting to listen, so the Mayor shut up.

The citizens of Metro City could only stare in confusion and fear as Megamind paced back and forth on the screen, throwing his hands in the air. He grumbled to himself and he yelled at no one in particular.

Roxanne Ritchi could be seen sitting in the background, tied to her usual Kidnappee chair, shaking her head and looking as bored as ever.

The back rows of the crowd started to slowly back away but froze as the villain suddenly grabbed a hold of the camera again and his face filled the screen. "Well you tell Metro _Mahn_ when he comes back that if he ever wants to see Roxanne Ritchi alive again, he'll... he'll come back! And then... LEAVE again!"

He stared at them all intently, green eyes darting back and forth, indignant. "SO THERE!" he exclaimed loudly before the screens suddenly turned to static.

The Mayor heaved a slightly sigh of relief and topped over behind his podium, rolling slightly.

They were safe. For now.

He stood up, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders... before he turned around and saw the thousands of faces staring at him with confusion.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOT HERE?" cried out a random citizen.

* * *

After he had switched off the camera feed and sent the signal for the Brain Bots to return to the lair, Megamind slumped slightly, staring at his console in consternation.

Suddenly, he straightened his back and spun around, his bravado returning as he faced his kidnapped reporter. "Well, Miss Ritchi, it seems your hero has more important things to do than rescue you!"

Roxanne just gave him an unimpressed look and he fidgeted for a moment before he continued, "Of course, a family emergency is...an emergency and of course very important, but HMPH-we'll just have to wait! You're lucky that I have immeasurable patience!"

Roxanne snorted out right at that and Minion put his robotic hand on the back of her chair. "Don't worry Miss Ritchi, I'm sure it won't be too long."

Roxanne smiled slightly despite everything. "Thank you, Minion, I'm sure that you're right."

The fish beamed and fluttered his fins happily and Megamind rolled his eyes. "If we're done _reassuring_ our _hostage_, that she'll be _saved_ or something," he began, gesturing emphatically. "Which, incidentally, she _won't_ because _I'm_ going to win," he continued, giving Minion a Look. "We will all just sit back and await Metro Man's return!"

And so they waited.

And waited.

And for good measure they waited some more.

Megamind grew increasingly agitated and Roxanne grew increasingly uncomfortable. Not in an emotional sense, but a physical sense. Her feet were falling asleep and her shoulders were cramping in awful ways from her hands being tied behind her back. Then her bladder reminded her just how long a day it had been.

"Hey," she said and was ignored. Sighing, she blew a few of her bangs out of her face. "_Hey_," she said again, louder.

Megamind seemed to hear her that time and the little blue alien looked up. "Ah? -Yes, what is it, hostage?" he asked with a smirk. Oh, how she wanted to wipe it off of his face, but there were more important matters at hand.

"Do you have a bathroom?" she asked flatly.

The genius' face went blank and the smirk fell. "A bathroom?" he parroted. Roxanne found herself smirking at his reaction.

"Yes, a bathroom. I need to use it," she monotoned.

"Uh," he said dumbly, as if not expecting her to have normal bodily functions.

"...So do you have one?" she asked, attempting to be patient.

"Er... we do, but-" he wrestled with the notion of untying her. She'd never been there long enough to warrant bathroom breaks before. He wasn't sure of the proper etiquette.

Roxanne rolled her eyes. "Well you'd better let me use it. I don't want to get into what will happen if you don't."

Megamind shuddered for a moment before narrowing his eyes playfully. "Is that a threat, Miss Ritchi?"

"No, Megamind, it's a promise," she replied. She was smirking, but completely serious.

He could see that and he groaned. "Fine, fine. But Minion can't... watch you to make sure you don't escape... I... Hm- oh!" he suddenly exclaimed, his eyes lighting up as if he had a brilliant idea. A brilliant idea involving her and the bathroom.

Roxanne was more than a little concerned.

Then he whistled and a small group of Brain Bots floated in. He motioned one of them over and Roxanne noticed that it was the pink one that she had seen flying around every now and then.

Megamind waved his hand imperiously. "This is..." he paused, glancing over at the Brain Bot again. "...Smurfette. She will guard you and make sure you don't try and escape."

"...Smurfette." Roxanne repeated, staring at him.

"No questions Miss Ritchi!" he snapped, and she could have sworn that she saw his cheeks tint a slightly darker pink.

With that, the pink Brain Bot, Smurfette, untied Roxanne's ropes and _bowg'd_ at her to follow, floating off in the direction of the bathroom.

When they returned, Megamind was sulking in his chair and Minion was feeding the alligators out of a bag of frozen chicken nuggets.

The Brain Bot glanced at her and then glanced back at Megamind and Minion. While Smurfette could untie ropes pretty well, with the use of its pointed mechanical claws, it could not re-tie them.

Roxanne briefly entertained the idea of making a break for it, but as soon as her weight shifted, Smurfette's red bulb eye was staring her in the face and it was making a little growling noise.

The reporter sighed and shrugged. "Fine, fine... I won't try anything," she said, resigned. For the time being, anyway.

Minion looked up at the exchange and beamed. "Oh, Miss Ritchi. The boss decided it would just be easier to leave you untied for the moment, provided that you don't try and escape of course," the fish explained. "If another bathroom break is necessary, he doesn't... what did you say, Sir?"

"I said I don't want to hear her nosy reporter voice whining!" the blue alien retorted in a way that sounded like a whine of its own.

Roxanne's eyebrow twitched but she kept her cool. Anything to keep from having to sit in that ridiculous chair for the next however many more hours.

She was starting to get a bit annoyed and a bit worried about Metro Man at the same time. Family emergency... She still didn't buy it. Out of all the people in Metro City, she knew him the best and what she _knew_ was that ever since his parents had passed away, Wayne Scott didn't keep in touch with his extended family and they didn't keep in touch with him.

So, it was very likely that something could have happened to any one of the obscure distant relatives, but it was also very un-likely that Metro Man would have heard about it, let alone leave the city on a day that Megamind was _sure_ to attack.

Something was up, and her _nosy reporter senses_ were tingling. It didn't help that Megamind had just left her untied in what was surely his lair. That was also sending them a flutter.

She began to take a step when Megamind's voice rang out. "And you're not allowed to go anywhere! ...At all! In fact... stay! Stay right there!" he pointed emphatically. "Or I'll... I'll do something... _incredibly evil!_

Roxanne froze and stared at him. "You're kidding, right?" she demanded, stuck, mid-step. It was horribly uncomfortable and after awkwardly keeping it up for about a minute, Minion took pity on her. He walked over to her and offered her a smile, doing a bit of a wiggle in his tank. "Miss Ritchi, do you like to play cards?"

She stared at Minion this time instead. This day was just full of surprises.

And so it was that the next several hours were spent with Minion and Roxanne playing "Go Fish" with Smurfette, munching on snacks the fish had made earlier, and sharing embarrassing childhood stories.

The only difference was that while Roxanne was sharing stories of her own childhood that she didn't mind sharing with Minion because, well, it had been forever ago, Minion was sharing embarrassing stories of _Megamind's_ childhood.

At first, Minion's tales were interrupted with protesting shrieks and various and assorted items being thrown in their general direction, including Brain Bots. Megamind, however, despite all his flailing, was still sulking at being stood up by Metro Man, so he couldn't be bothered to move out of the chair.

Roxanne was amused at how he was acting like a teenage girl being stood up by a boy who hadn't promised a date to begin with.

"Well, he was very precocious. Oh, I had almost forgotten!" Minion began, backtracking. "When he was still just couple weeks old, Sir built a tricycle out of license plates and blasted out the wall of the prison!" the fish exclaimed in delight.

Roxanne raised an eyebrow. "Out of license plates? ...Wait, the prison? He was _raised_ in the _prison_?" she demanded, incredulous. "How is that even _legal_?"

Minion simply blinked at her, confused. "Well, that I'm not sure about, Miss Ritchi... but that's how it happened."

"Hrrm..." Roxanne murmured, pursing her lips. She would have to add this to the things to research after she was rescued this time. The "family emergency" was obviously the first priority, but this turn of events could explain _so much_ that she couldn't resist the opportunity. The fact that a little baby, blue or not, had been raised in a prison was also rather disturbing.

It took a little while longer, the time for a couple more stories to be told, easing on into the years that Megamind had gone to _shool_, for the nosy reporter to realize that the super villain had stopped protesting. In fact, he had stopped making noise all together, which was unprecedented and a feat unto itself. She never would have thought it possible if it wasn't occurring at this very moment.

Roxanne excused herself from Minion and stood, stretching her legs. The reporter wandered over to where the evil genius sat in his chair. He was either thinking or sulking. For all Roxanne knew it was both.

She stepped up behind the chair, gazing at the monitors he was looking at. Most of them were random surveillance of the city or the news. One however showed the inside of the observatory.

She blinked, peering at the image. There was a big red X on the floor and there was a distinct lack of machinery around in the picture, and a distinct lack of themselves.

The nosy reporter glanced around the observatory that they were in. It looked the same except- _Ohhhh..._

She smiled to herself despite everything. He had taken her intelligence into account for this plan. If she squinted at that fact, it was _almost_ a compliment.

She stepped around to the side of the chair and bent at her knees, leaning forward slowly so that her face was beside his, even and parallel. He didn't seem to notice her.

She waited a moment, keeping her eyes trained forward. "We're not in the real observatory," she said. It was more of a statement than a question.

Megamind had been so preoccupied with his thoughts that he hadn't noticed her at all. He let out an undignified shriek and jerked in the chair, sending it rolling back towards the wall. Both Villain and Chair crashed into the wall and ended up sprawled on the floor.

Roxanne winced, reaching out after him reflexively. "Sorry!" she found herself saying before she could even remember who she was talking to. She had meant to startle him, but not quite _that_ much.

His large blue head peeked out from under his cape, which had flown up and over his head. He stared at her for a long moment, green eyes wide and surprised.

He stared long enough that Roxanne started to feel uncomfortable. "What?" she challenged.

That was enough to snap him out of it. Megamind scrambled to his feet and struck an un-intimidating pose. "I _meant_ to do that!" he declared, putting his hands on his hips and his nose in the air.

Any guilt Roxanne had begun to feel was crushed underneath his ridiculous ego.

She rolled her eyes, scowling, and crossed her arms over her chest. "Right. I'm sure you did," she said flatly.

Megamind ignored her and hefted the chair back onto its wheels, pushing it back over to the consoles.

Roxanne watched as he plopped back down into the leather and she frowned a bit at the lack of back and forth banter.

"...Hey-" she began, but he cut her off.

Rubbing his face with one hand, he spoke. "Are you still here? Go home."

Everything she was going to say or ask left the reporter's mind as Roxanne _stared_ at him. He was... letting her go?

He could feel her gaze burning figurative holes into his face and so he turned his chair away from her further so all she could see was the back of the leather piece of furniture. "Minion!" he called and the fish stepped over, having stood from the table upon Megamind's initial yelp of surprise and subsequent crash landing.

"Yes, Sir?" he questioned, glancing between the incredulous reporter and the back of his boss' chair.

A leather-clad hand lifted from the armrest and made a flopping motion that could have been a commanding wave, but came off more like a disinterested hand shrug. "Take Miss Ritchi home," he said, sounding a little gloomy.

Minion's brow furrowed with concern but he nodded slowly. "Okay, Sir. But we're out of knock out spray."

Roxanne train of thought did a quick 90 degree turn at that. _Not the Forget-Me Stick. Not the Forget-Me stick. Not the Forget-Me Stick,_ she thought to herself, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment.

Megamind lowered his hand back to the armrest again. "Just blindfold her and take her back home."

Minion and the reporter stared at him. Well, at the back of his chair. When he didn't say anything more, Minion gently placed his giant robotic hand on Roxanne's shoulder. "Come on, Miss Ritchi. We'd better get going. Rush hour on the freeway should be settling down anyway."

Roxanne nodded dumbly, glancing back over her shoulder at the giant chair and the baby seal leather boots she saw dangling, not quite reaching the floor.

Then a strip of black cloth was placed around her eyes and she felt Minion leading her out of the room.

At least it wasn't the bag.

* * *

Not too much later, Minion dropped Roxanne off at the apartment and asked her a few questions to make sure she hadn't figured out the location of the lair, to which she responded vaguely because she had, in fact, figured it out.

Roxanne waved and saw him off and sat down on her couch with a sigh. Kicking her heels off and putting her feet up on the coffee table, she slouched in the couch, her chin coming to rest on her chest. She shook her foot in agitation as she thought hard on the events that had taken place.

This had to be the strangest day of her life thus far. Metro Man never showing up, Megamind just _letting her go_. It was all very strange. Too strange. The strangest part was still this "family emergency" bull.

Suddenly, she lowered her feet from the table and sat up. There was something very Not Right going on. Everyone had bought that ridiculous excuse but her. Even _Megamind_ had bought it.

Well. Someone had to get to the bottom of this.

Who better than Roxanne Ritchi, nosy reporter extraordinaire.


	2. Password: Doughnuts

The minute that the Warden had been all but summoned to Metro General that morning by the Mayor's personal secretary, he knew that his day was going to suck.

The day before had been bad enough, this one didn't need any help in making his week even more awful.

Ignoring his better judgement (which was telling him to retire right then and there) he went to the hospital and met the Mayor, who promptly dragged him quite literally towards what appeared to be the employee's lounge.

Taking in the man's raised gray eyebrow, the Mayor reassured the Warden that the hospital staff had given them permission.

The Warden stared blankly as the Mayor knocked on the closed door and it subsequently opened just barely a crack.

"Password?" the voice inside asked dryly.

The Warden stared at the Mayor, then the door, then the Mayor again. "Passwo-" he began incredulously, starting to turn to leave. He didn't have time for this. The Mayor grabbed a hold of his arm instead.

Leaning conspiratorially towards the crack in the door, the Mayor whispered, "_Doughnuts_."

The Warden barely fought off the urge to strangle the little man in front of him as the door slowly opened. They stepped inside and were greeted by the sight of Chief Quimby of the Metro City Police sitting on the far side of the room, looking embarrassed. Holding the door open was Bernard, the Metro Man Museum curator, expert on all things Megamind and subsequently Metro Man as well.

"Welcome to the party," the be-speckled man dead-panned, his half lidded stare perfectly matching his bored expression.

The Mayor hurried in, trying to be stealthy while humming his own theme music, and promptly tripped over a chair, crashed into a table and ended up on his back, rolling back and forth like a turtle on its shell.

The Warden stared at the downed Mayor emotionlessly, briefly contemplating helping him up. Instead, he turned to Bernard as the crazy-haired man shut the door behind them. "How in the _hell_ did you get roped into this stupidity, Bernard? I thought you had a better head on your shoulders than that," the Warden demanded, gesturing to Quimby - who made a noise of protest at being included in "this stupidity" - and the Mayor.

Bernard pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and shrugged. "It's entertaining," he said dryly, looking anything but entertained.

The Warden sighed and stared the other men down. "All right, _what_ is this about?"

Quimby helped the Mayor to his feet and the four of them sat down at one of the wobbly tables in the lounge. The police chief regarded the Warden gravely and opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the whir of the vending machine.

They all looked over to slowly watch as the Mayor's new purchased snack was vended and dropped to the bottom. The little man took the bag of chips from the drop area and turned to face them. "...What?" he questioned defensively. "It helps me think!"

The Warden closed his eyes for a long moment and Quimby did his best not to react outwardly. Bernard was... well, Bernard, and his expression didn't change.

Quimby shook his head and began to speak once more. "The truth of the matter, Warden, is that-"

_CRACKLE SQUEAK CRACKLE CRACK POP_ went the Mayor's potato chip bag as he opened it.

A long silence followed, only punctuated by the _CRUNCH CRUNCH_ of the Mayor eating the chips intently as he looked between them all. "Well?" he asked, crumbs falling from his mouth. "Aren't you going to tell them?" _CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH._

Suddenly Quimby's hand shot out, grabbed the bag out of the Mayor's hands, and threw it across the room. The bag sailed sadly through the air and landed on the floor with a soft noise, already half empty. What chips _were_ left spilled out and onto the floor.

The Mayor jumped, looked at Quimby with fear, then looked back at the fallen bag and stared at it mournfully.

The silence that fell upon the small room lasted a bit longer than the previous bout, but finally Quimby cleared his throat again. "All right. As to what happened..." he started, glancing over at the Mayor, expecting another interruption. The Mayor only sat there, mourning the chips that had never had a chance to be eaten.

Deciding that he wasn't going to be interrupted again, Quimby continued. "It is very, very important that we keep this information between the four of us and a select few. If the public were to find out about this, there would be chaos. We need Mr. Bernard's help, and we need your insight, Warden."

"...My insight," the Warden repeated, raising an eyebrow.

Quimby shifted in his chair and leaned forward anxiously, clasping his hands together and setting them on the table. "Yes, you see... ...Yesterday afternoon, Metro Man collapsed."

As Quimby outlined the entirety of situation to him, the Warden's expression grew more and more unimpressed. He was concerned to be sure, but mostly annoyed by the fact that no one in power seemed to have taken any real action. His eyebrow remained high in the air as Quimby finished, "And... we need you to tell us what you think Megamind would do while he's out, without Metro Man to stop him."

Before the Warden could formulate a reply, the Mayor, who had been biting at his knuckles, immediately interjected with, "Will he turn us into PIGGIES?"

Bernard sighed.

The Warden turned and _stared_ at the Mayor. After a moment, he rolled his eyes before flatly stating, "Yes. And then he'll eat you for breakfast."

The Mayor squeaked, his hands raising to his mouth in horror. "O-oh, goodness gracious!" he despaired with a wail.

The Warden inwardly bemoaned the lack of intelligence in the city's elected officials. "He doesn't know how to turn you into a _pig_, you idiot," he tried to explain.

Bernard, enjoying himself immensely but definitely not showing it, glanced ominously over the rims of his glasses. "...As far as we know," he said seriously.

The Mayor let out a whimper and then yelped as he fell over in his chair while trying to get away from Bernard's dooming stare.

The Warden went with it, giving up for the time being on having any serious discussion about what to do next. "Or, you _could_ end up as a chicken dinner, instead."

With a sob, the Mayor cowered behind his fallen chair.

Chief Quimby wondered when everyone had gone insane. _...Oh, right._ Their invulnerable hero was unconscious in the hospital and his nemesis was running loose out in the city.

Damn.

* * *

Ace Reporter Roxanne Ritchi, supposed girlfriend of Metro Man and Megamind's usual designated kidnapping victim, stepped out of the KMCP8 News van at the top of a tall hill at the end of a long dirt road. Armed only with her trusty personal, yet professional quality, camera (all the better to catch Megamind at his worst), and her Nosy Reporter Skills, she approached an old, squat, dirty red and white building.

The paint on the door was peeling and some of it tried to get under her nails as she pushed it open. She walked into the dimly lit one-room school house, moving towards the hidden lever that opened the trap door to the secret bunker underneath. She had only been there once before, but she had made sure to remember exactly where everything was, just in case.

As she stepped down the narrow staircase and opened yet another door to a long hallway, Roxanne started to wonder what exactly she thought she would find.

Did he somehow just lose track of time? Sleep through it? Get distracted playing with that guitar collection of his? It wasn't like him to just forget an important date, or even to be late for anything. She knew the 'family emergency' excuse was a lie, but what else could _possibly_ be so important that he wouldn't show up to the dedication to his _own museum_?

Especially since he had to have _known_ that Megamind would show up. He would never have left the city defenseless against the villain like that.

Opening the final door to the hero's main hall, she rolled her eyes at the sheer luxury of the set up and decorations. It was actually quite nice, but the worst part of it, really, was that nearly all of it was of his own likeness. She could understand old capes and costumes, but really? Busts of yourself? Paintings? She was also pretty sure one of the many rugs in one of the many rooms had a giant picture of his face on it.

She knew that many of the items were gifts from adoring citizens who wished to show him how much they appreciated him saving them all the time (she figured that even after the museum's opening he'd _still_ be getting gifts), but in all honesty, he didn't have to show them off so much when only he would see them.

After having her mental observation, she remembered why she was there. Roxanne moved about the room, looking for any sign of him. She called for him a couple of times and received no response.

Taking a few more steps as she glanced around, she bumped into something. She looked down and noticed a glass of water on the coffee table. Bending at her waist, she leaned in to inspect it closer. The glass was completely full, to the brim. In fact, a bit of the water seemed to have spilled out the top, probably from ice cubes that had melted. A cursory touch of the glass found it to be completely room temperature. It was definitely not recent.

What had been so important that he had just... left this glass out? Even if he had been out all day saving the city he wouldn't have just left the glass out when he got back. The reporter sighed and straightened up. He wasn't here... She checked every room just in case. Sure enough, there wasn't any sign of him.

Blowing her bangs out of her face, Roxanne set her jaw and marched back out the door, down the hallway, and through the rest of the secret passage, until she was out in the school house proper again.

As she walked purposefully towards the door, the sunlight coming in the window reflected from something and she turned to see what had caught her eye. It was a photograph sitting framed on one of the small children's tables. She hadn't noticed it the last time she was here...

She picked up the frame and realized that it only had a very thin coating of dust on the glass, which meant that someone had dusted it recently. Her brow furrowed as she inspected it. It was a photograph of a group of children- the one in the center was almost assuredly a young Wayne Scott. She knew that grin anywhere, although the smile he'd given as a child was more sincerely happy than some of the ones he gave these days.

Then, her eyes looked over the photo from left to right and she froze for a moment. There, standing and... _smiling_ awkwardly, even hesitantly, holding a strange looking fish in a sphere of water in his arms, was an incredibly thin, large-headed blue boy in an orange jumpsuit.

This was Megamind as a child, she realized, staring at the photo. _They went to school together?_ Apparently.

There was something about this class picture that gave her a bad feeling, and it took her a moment to figure out what it was: The little blue boy was completely separated from the rest of the group. Roxanne stared at the photo for a long moment before she remembered what she should be focusing on.

She set the frame back down where she had found it and hurried out the door, back to the news van.

* * *

The Brain Bots were at a loss. They had put extra wax on the invisible car about seven times, cleaned up the lair even more times than that, done all the usual adjustments to various and assorted evil devices, and the day had only just begun.

Usually by this point they would have been given orders to start working on the next big project, or Daddy would have begun to play with them, or Metro Man would have crashed the party, or Minion would be instructing them on how they were going to break Daddy out of jail this time.

But everything was not as it should be and it was very distressing to their little programs.

Daddy was furiously pacing back and forth across the lair, and had been for quite some time. He kept muttering to himself and throwing his arms into the air, gesturing wildly. When he had started arguing with himself aloud, however, their little circuits told them that it was probably time to worry.

"-kind of self respecting Super Hero just doesn't _show up_ to his own museum dedication? SO _UNPROFESSIONAL_!" Megamind exclaimed, tossing his arms in the air once again in indignation. "How _dare_ he make a fool out of me like that!"

The Brain Bots weren't entirely sure, but they suspected that he'd started to repeat himself again.

"-still isn't back yet! I've been broadcasting that blasted signal for hours now, and he STILL HASN'T RESPONDED!" he screamed out, kicking one of the various buckets sitting around the lair. He had assumed it was one of the ones full of water for washing the invisible car, but this one happened to be full of nuts and bolts.

Minion was not expecting to find his boss hopping around on one foot when he stepped into the room. The little genius was holding the other foot, shouting intelligibly about something, and seemed to be referring to a bucket as Metro Man.

The fish glanced to the side to see the Brain Bots watching their Daddy, confused. Looking back to his boss he slowly leaned towards Smurfette, who was closest to him. "...I think Daddy's gone crazy," he whispered conspiratorially.

Smurfette _bowg_'d her agreement.

"Stupid Metro Man!" Megamind howled as he continued to hop around. Finally regaining himself, he gave the bucket another kick for good measure, this time with the heel of his boot. When it sailed across the floor and spilled its contents all about, Megamind laughed triumphantly and stuck a finger out imperiously. "IN YOUR FACE!"

He yelped as the hundreds of Brain Bots in the room swarmed down, bowging excitedly and chomping up the little pieces of metal. Breakfast time!

Minion continued to stare as Megamind scrambled out of the way and promptly tripped over another bucket. He ended up face first on the floor, with soapy water smelling of lemon pooling around him. He gave a shriek and rolled around as the liquid got in his eyes.

The fish sighed and glanced down at the breakfast he had prepared that was sitting in his hand. This was _not_ a job for mere pancakes. This called for the big guns. A double- no... _triple_ hot fudge sundae.

Turning on his heel, he marched with purpose back to the kitchen.

After wiping the soapy water out of his eyes, and calling for a towel, Megamind went back to his pacing. Only this time he squelched with every step that he took.

"Okay, okay. Focus. So what if he's gone? That's a good thing! Right? Right!" he asked himself, shrugging and nodding a bit enthusiastically. The Brain Bots that were scattered along the floor continued watching him, eating their breakfast like popcorn.

"I know! I'll..." he said, eyes lighting up with excitement, stopping in his tracks and dripping on the floor. With a cry, he pronounced, "I'll _take over the CITY!_

"I mean, with Mr. Goody Two-Shoes out of the way, I can have everything I want! And there's no one here to stop me!" he announced, striking a triumphant pose, almost slipping on the wet floor. He yelped and flailed his arms before he finally regained his balance.

Sobered by his Near Death Experience, he frowned. "But... that... That wouldn't be any fun," he said, shoulders slumping. "I mean... taking over the city _would_ be fun. It would be _so_ much fun!" He clenched his hands, the gloves squeaking. "...But I didn't _win_. It- it would almost be an empty victory."

The genius sighed, trudging his way over to his Devilishly Evil Rolly Chair. "I didn't _beat_ him, I didn't-" He paused mid step, before slowly sinking down into the leather seat. "I didn't do _anything_."

He turned in his seat and pouted at the monitors before him, slouching low, his cheek pressing against his propped up fist. Most of the screens were only of static, but there was one that steadily remained showing the red X in the real observatory.

Megamind stared at that one displaying monitor silently.

Ranting and raving was a defense mechanism for him, because when he stopped and just sat down, well, his large brain did what it did best.

He thought. Hard. About a lot of things. And when his brain fixated on something it was hard to steer it in another direction. The most prominent conclusion that he kept coming to was how... useless he felt. What else did he have to _do_ if Metro Man wasn't going to stop him?

This was the best opportunity he'd ever had to carry out all sorts of villainous schemes! They- they had it all... yet, they had nothing...

When Minion returned with a very large bowl of ice cream (six scoops of chocolate, three of vanilla, two of strawberry, with assorted nuts, cookie chunks, and generously drowned in hot fudge and caramel, with three cherries on top) in his hands, he found Megamind sulking instead of ranting. _Oh, dear..._

He sighed, walked over to the little genius, and offered the bowl. It took Megamind a moment before he returned from his thoughts and noticed the delicious looking sundae being held at his eye level.

"Ooooh, Minion!" he gushed, snatching the ice cream from the fish's metal hands. "You always know how to make me feel better!"

"Yes, Sir," Minion said, muttering a quiet _"I try"_ before asking, "What was it that's left you upset, Sir?"

Megamind exclaimed something around the spoon in his mouth, but Minion couldn't make out what it was.

"...Don't talk with your mouth full, Sir," Minion admonished.

"I'll talk with my mouth full if I want to!" Megamind declared, pointing his spoon at the fish, only it came out more as "I'll talk wiff my mouff full ifff I wan' do!"

Minion sighed and shook his head. "So, again. What has you upset _this time_, Sir?"

Megamind raised his index finger imperiously. "Stupid Metro Man!" he declared as nuts and crumbs spilled from his lips.

"Ah, of course, Sir. 'Stupid' Metro Man... What'd he do this time?" Minion sighed.

"Not show up!" the genius sputtered as he chowed down on sundae.

"So, what he did was... not do anything at all," Minion said slowly to clarify.

"...Yes!" Megamind agreed emphatically, continuing to stuff his face. "Exactly! If he had just _shown up_ like he was _supposed to_ then everything would be _fine_! I wouldn't have had to let Miss Ritchi go, or let those... soft headed groupies of his off the hook either!

"There would have been Terror and Mayhem and it would have been Awesome!" the genius said, getting more emotional with each word. "But he had to go and... and _spoil_ it all!" he said with a huff, throwing his arms out in an even more juvenile manner than usual and half tossed himself back in his chair, narrowly avoiding losing his spoon and tipping the bowl down into his lap.

Minion gave him a long Look, crossed his robotic arms, and demanded, "...Sir, did you go to bed?"

The spoon very tellingly paused halfway to Megamind's mouth. "...yes?"

"Sir..." the fish said suspiciously.

"...maybe," Megamind grunted.

"..._Sir_," Minion said with great disapproval in his voice.

Megamind slumped low in his seat, the spoon drooping down into the bowl. "...no," he muttered.

Minion's expression and tone softened. "Why didn't you go to sleep? You know it makes you a little... well you know," the fish finished with a vague, crazy fin gesture, his robotic hand mimicking the movement.

"...I couldn't sleep," the genius sulked, swaying back and forth in the chair.

"-Why didn't you wake me up?" Minion asked in alarm, swimming around frantically in his bowl. "I could have fixed you something to eat, or could have helped with whatever it-"

Megamind shook his head, looking down at the floor, slouching further into his chair. "I don't even know why I couldn't sleep. You couldn't have fixed it... No reason for us both to be tired... It's just... _Him_. I don't..."

"-Sir..." Minion began again, his brow creasing in concern.

"I mean... He's gone, right? If he was going to come back anytime soon he would have done it already. I should... I should be happy," he said, rubbing his face. To Minion's dismay, he leaned over and set the bowl of half-eaten sundae onto the console in front of him. The spoon handle shifted sadly downward.

The genius flopped back in his chair. "This is... this is what we've been working toward, right?"

"Yes, Sir, defeating Metro Man," Minion confirmed, not sure where this was going.

"But that's the problem. We didn't- I didn't beat him, he just... disappeared," the genius said, flapping his arms a little in dismay.

"-Still, Sir, isn't it still... the end result we wanted?" Minion asked, growing more confused. Had he missed a memo? That _was_ still what they wanted, right?

"I... I thought so, but... then why do I feel so... mell_on_kally?" the villain sighed, leaning his head back, gazing at the screen of the empty observatory once more.

"_Mell-on-kally...?"_ Minion mouthed, confused.

"Unhappy," Megamind murmured, tilting the chair back as he shifted his gaze upward.

Minion didn't know what to say. This was unprecedented.

Then, an idea came to him. "Well... hey, why don't we go kidnap Miss Ritchi, Sir? That always seems to cheer you up!"

Megamind paused and he really started to like that idea. He could kidnap Roxanne. They'd get her and bring her to the lair and... then what? "...Good idea, Minion," he said, turning in his chair to face the monitors again, slouching. "But what would we do then? It'd be like before... just... letting her go." He waved his hand lightly. "Nothing would come of it..."

Minion stared at him, honestly worried. He'd never seen his friend so upset before.

"Minion, what am I without a hero?" he groaned, putting his face in his hands.

"What- why, Sir, you're an incredibly handsome criminal genius! What do you mean?" the fish protested. "There are all sorts of other things for you to do."

"But that's just it...! I'm a _criminal_ genius. What... what's the point if there's no challenge? No planning around super powers or trying to come up with ways to destroy the indestructible man who would get in your way?" the villain despaired, his voice cracking.

"-Sir," Minion began, then his eyes widened to the size of saucers. "Sir- are you _crying_, Sir?"

"No!" Megamind denied, curling his legs into his chair, scooting it around so Minion couldn't see his face.

Minion stared at his turned back for a long moment before wordlessly extending a robotic arm across the room, plucking a tissue from a tissue box at one of the consoles.

He brought his arm back around and curved it around to hold out the tissue in his robotic hand to his friend in a way that his back could still be turned.

Megamind looked up at the tissue and snatched it down quickly, mumbling something that may possibly, perhaps, _maybe_ have been a "thank you" before blowing his nose into it noisily.

Minion waited patiently as Megamind sniffled and ended up twisting the poor piece of tissue up.

When he thought he was done, Minion spoke up again. "-Well, Sir, why don't you figure out... a... a hobby?"

"A- a hobby?" Megamind asked, his voice warbling pathetically.

Minion nodded, eager to get his friend out of this rare, depressed state. "Yes, Sir. A hobby. Something that maybe you can do if Metro Man has another Family Emergency or something else comes up. Something non-villainous, just to pass the time."

Megamind stared at him, clutching at the demolished tissue in his hands. "Is that... even possible?"

"Oh, yes, Sir. Of course, Sir. You can do anything if you put your mind to it. You are a Super Genius after all, not just a criminal one."

Megamind's eyes widened slowly. "I've never thought of it like that before... I mean I know I can do anything. But..." he trailed off and then his eyes lit up. "I could...I could have a hobby!"

"Yes, Sir, that's what I said," Minion acknowledged slowly, nodding.

"I could... I could take up a recreational activity!" Megamind began, starting off on a more positive tangent. "Like... like..." he started to trail off, unsure. "Quick! Minion! Give me a recreational activity!"

"... Sewing?" Minion suggested. Megamind made a face.

"I was thinking something more... well, not more evil, something more... interesting?"

Minion rolled his eyes upward, thinking. "...Golf?"

"Minion!" his boss whined at the uninspired suggestions.

Then, suddenly, Megamind leapt to his feet.

"Minion! That's a brilliant idea!"

Minion blinked. "Wait. Golf?"

Megamind looked at him. "What? NO! _WATERSKIING_," he beamed, excited. "Taking up a new hobby is a GREAT idea! ...I'm glad that I thought of it!"

Minion sighed and shook his head, smiling despite the brush off of his contribution. At least the Boss was on his way to being back to normal. That's all that really mattered, in the end.

Hopefully everything else would soon go back to normal, as well.

* * *

Since the hero wasn't at home, that meant that Roxanne was going to have to trace Metro Man's steps through the last few days.

The last time she had seen him had been three days prior, on Monday, when she had interviewed him about the upcoming museum opening. That seemed like the best place to start.

And so, with great zeal, she snooped.

According to some police officers she ran into at a coffee shop, the hero had stopped a car chase not half an hour after his interview had ended. Regulars at a nearby park placed him later on that evening stopping a bank robbery, and a girl at the coffee shop that the hero visited occasionally said that late that night he had ordered his usual at the 24-hour drive-through and then flew off "that way", which Roxanne found was actually to the north west of town, which meant that he had headed home.

Whatever had happened to cause him to disappear, happened between Tuesday morning and Wednesday morning before the dedication.

She looked down at her notebook and crossed Monday off at the top of her timeline of events. Under "11:53pm Coffee Shop Drive-Through" she wrote, "Tuesday."

The reporter frowned to herself and shut the notebook with a snap.

From other various and assorted "interviews," Roxanne found out that on Tuesday, Metro Man had stopped three attempted burglaries, five car accidents, and prevented two buildings from burning down all before 10:00am.

Then later on there had apparently been some sort of disturbance involving a guy causing an explosion of some kind. No one knew anything else about it. And no one had seen what happened. The most interesting thing was that no one had seen Metro Man after that.

Roxanne frowned as she headed to the police station to get the details, since Metro Man had taken care of the problem, of course. Although, she didn't know whether that was fact or just assumption. To tell the truth, Roxanne was starting to get... worried. It wasn't like Wayne to just disappear like this. Even if he had, he would have told her. They weren't dating like everyone assumed, but they _were_ good friends.

In fact, they were pretty much the only friends each other had at this point in their lives.

It wasn't that Roxanne didn't have friends, she had quite a few, really. They just... didn't live in Metro City.

Any woman in or outside of work who approached her ended up steering the topic of the conversation to be about Metro Man and her supposed relationship with him, and whether or not his eyes really shined like a thousand stars. And any man who approached her, with the exception of Hal, wanted to know the exact same thing as the women did.

The people who wouldn't want to know those things? They stayed as far away from her as possible. Who would dare hit on the girlfriend of Metro Man? Who would risk the possibility of Megamind attacking them on a date in order to kidnap their girlfriend? _Yeah. No one._

Which wasn't such a big deal, she told herself, because she _was_ an independent woman. It was just frustrating that even if she _wanted_ to date someone (which admittedly she didn't want to do at the moment since most of the Average Citizens of Metro City didn't seem to be firing on all cylinders), she _couldn't_ date anyone. It was so frustrating.

Her real friends were the sort of people with whom she could hold a _real_ conversation with and they all lived out of _State_. And with getting kidnapped practically every week and all, well, it was really hard to make plans to meet up with people these days.

She supposed that she could count Hal as a friend, but she was a tad iffy on that. He was her cameraman, and a damn good one at that, but he was more like... a nerdy little brother? That didn't sound right either. She didn't dislike him, she liked him well enough as a person, but she certainly didn't _like_ him like him, and sometimes he came off as a teensy bit creepy, and he _meant_ well but... Thinking about Hal gave her a headache.

Her life had become an endless cycle of Report, Get Kidnapped, Get Rescued, Interview, Wash, Rinse, Repeat. In fact, it was getting pretty old. If she wasn't so worried about Wayne she'd take her vacation time right then and there since Megamind didn't seem to want to kidnap her without Metro Man around.

Metro Man. Wayne Scott. Roxanne knew he had even fewer friends than she did. He had thousands upon thousands of adoring fans, but no... _friends_. He'd told her as much in an off-the-record, not-really-an-interview, interview. He had her and, well, if you counted Megamind, which Wayne did, that made two friends, three if you stretched it to encompass Minion as well.

This just drove home the fact that _something_ must have happened for him to leave without any of the three knowing where he went, but she didn't have any idea _what_ could have happened.

She'd never had to worry about him before. Who worried about _Metro Man_? He was... well, he was _Metro Man_. She knew it sounded stupid and naiive, but he had the power of flight, invulnerability, laser vision, super strength, super hearing, and super _smell_ for crying out loud. What was there to _worry_ about?

With a sigh, Roxanne pushed open the door to the police station and walked up to the front desk. "Excuse me, I need to speak with Chief Quimby, please," she said politely.

Without looking up the officer said, "I'm sorry, the Chief isn't here at the moment. He's overseeing an important investigation-"

"-Are you guys seriously just going to _sit_ here?" someone exclaimed incredulously and when Roxanne turned to look, she was greeted with a surprising sight. "You're the _police_. You're supposed to, you know, go save people and stuff!" a handcuffed Hal was complaining to an officer who appeared to be doing some paperwork next to him.

"_Hal?_" Roxanne blurted incredulously.

The red head looked up in surprise. "-Roxanne!"

The entire room, which had been totally disinterested before, looked up.

"Oh, Miss Ritchi, we're so glad that you're safe," said the officer who had all but ignored her before.

"-Would you people stop _saying_ that to me?" Roxanne demanded. "I'm _fine_. Why has everyone I've talked to today asked me that?"

The officer looked taken aback. "W-well, it's just that you _were_ captured by Megamind, Miss Ritchi."

The reporter blinked and then frowned. "...Right," she said plainly. "Well, I'm fine, thank you."

The officer shifted awkwardly and took that, correctly so, as a dismissal and sat back down at the front desk.

Roxanne sighed. She was so used to getting rescued that it was normal for her to be out and about the next day. But she had to remind herself that this time Megamind had let her go. And he had done it for all intents and purposes secretly, since no one else had been around and he hadn't had the monitors on. That still honestly surprised her. It just hadn't occurred to her that people would have thought Megamind really would have harmed her since, well, he never would. She knew that. But then again, Metro Man always played up the assumption that he would. Megamind did too.

"Don't panic, Roxy!" Wayne would cry dramatically.

Roxanne would try to explain that she was not, in fact, panicking. Because Megamind didn't scare her. Because Megamind wouldn't actually hurt her.

No one else saw that though.

Roxanne was the only one who got to see behind the scenes. The only one besides Metro Man who realized that weapons were positioned too far away from her to actually hurt her, or notice that if the rescue would start to push the time limit during a battle, that Minion would adjust the timer on whatever doomsday device happened to be ticking at the time back so that nothing actually would happen to her.

While she saw a villain whose plans never worked and who never actually did any person harm because all he was focused on was Metro Man, everyone else saw an evil, deadly criminal and they were just so lucky that he was thwarted every time because Metro Man Was Awesome.

With another sigh, Roxanne made her way over to where her cameraman was sitting, still handcuffed. With an exasperated noise she leaned on the desk. "Hal," she began, giving him a Look. "What did you do?"

Hal straightened up in his seat. "I didn't do anything! Except try to _rescue_ you."

The police officer rolled his eyes and looked up at Roxanne. "He was caught vandalizing the abandoned observatory."

"I was launching my frontal assault!" Hal protested.

"Throwing rocks at it," the police officer corrected.

"Well I _had_ to throw rocks at it to find the secret entrance!" Hal tried to explain.

"There was a door, Mr. Stewart," the officer said with annoyance.

"That's the way he _wants_ you to go in. It's got all the booby traps and stuff." Hal explained before giving the officer a look of disgust. "Don't you watch _any_ TV? That's like. A rule of super villains."

"There was nothing in there," came the testy response of the officer as if he had tried to explain this to Hal before.

"Well of course there wasn't!" Hal said, glancing at Roxanne to make sure she heard him. "There were like, fifty ninjas and I had to beat 'em all up. And they were like... cryin' and stuff. And while I was doing that, he escaped!"

"...Right," the man said, turning in his seat to go back to writing the cameraman up.

The red head glowered and slouched in his seat.

Roxanne groaned softly in frustration but it melted into more of a fondly annoyed shake of her head. "Ah, excuse me, officer," she began.

"Yes, Miss Ritchi?" the man asked as he looked up at her with a smile.

"He... really doesn't mean any harm and I'm sure that he _was_ trying to rescue me," she began slowly. "Especially since the police _obviously_ weren't going to do anything about it," she ended, giving the man an ominous "Oh Man The Press Will Go Nuts With This Story If You Don't Do What I Want" look.

The officer swallowed, a bit terrified. "Ah, right, of course Miss Ritchi," he said, un-cuffing Hal.

Roxanne smiled sweetly at the officer then turned. "Come on, Hal," she said and headed to the front door.

As they headed down the steps, Hal thanked her. "That was _so_ awesome, Roxy. I mean getting me out of being _arrested_. That was really cool."

The reporter shook her head with a bit of another eye roll. "Only because you were throwing rocks at an empty building. If you do anything _actually_ bad, I'm not bailing you out. The law is the law."

"...Says the girl who sneaks around to get scoops," Hal said suspiciously.

"That's different. I'm a reporter," she explained. "And I don't sneak, I _investigate_. And I never go anywhere I'm not allowed to go."

"Oh, no of course not," Hal agreed. "Just the places that don't have 'do not trespass' signs. Even if there's an eight foot tall fence."

Roxanne's eyes narrowed and she stopped walking, putting a hand on her hip. "Do you want me to have you arrested again?"

"-I mean. You never even come close to _bending_ the line of the law, Rox-aroo," he said hastily. "In fact, you stick to it so well you end up making it a uh... uh... a _concave_ line of the law!"

"Quit while you're ahead, Hal," Roxanne deadpanned.

He quickly shut up.

Roxanne sighed and ran a hand through her bangs as she headed over towards the news van. "I forgot to ask about that incident..." she muttered to herself. "But I heard from those other officers that the Chief took over the case so I need to find _him_. And what's with this... important investigation bull? Something's going on around here..."

Hal glanced over at her. "...You're doing that talking to yourself thing again, Roxy."

Roxanne blinked and actually felt her face flush slightly with embarrassment. "Jail, Hal," she threatened, but at this point they both knew she didn't mean it.

Hal rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. -You said you were lookin' for the police Chief dude?"

Roxanne blinked and stopped with her hand on the handle of the driver's side door. "...Yes. Do you know something?"

"Well," Hal started as he got into the van on the other side. "I totally heard that one jerk officer talking on the phone to the chief. I know because he kept saying 'Chief'," Hal said with confidence.

Roxanne nodded slowly, not about to discourage him from remembering with a sarcastic comment, turning the key to start the van. "And?"

"Well I was over by the desk phone, right? So I saw the caller ID. It said Metro General, so I think Chief Quimby's at the hospital," he explained.

Roxanne's eyes widened slowly and she stared at him. "Hal, you're the best!"

He looked over at her, genuinely surprised. "I am?" he asked before coughing and doing his best to look suave and serious. He only really ended up looking constipated. "I mean, of course I am," he said, lowering his voice.

Pulling on her seat-belt, Roxanne's eyes sparked with renewed determination. She was going to get to the bottom of this.

Hal kept glancing between Roxanne's face and the floor of the car. "So, uh, since I'm the best, what does that- WHOA!" he yelped as Roxanne stepped on the gas. Hard. He rolled back out of the passenger seat and into the back with all the equipment as Roxanne tore down the road towards the hospital.

She was so close to figuring this out, she could feel it.


	3. No One Is Home

Roxanne walked into the hospital with Hal in tow. While she wandered over to the receptionist's desk to see what she could find out, Hal looked around a bit anxiously. He really didn't like hospitals.

"Excuse me," she began, smiling down at the woman who looked up at her from behind the desk. "I'm looking for Chief Quimby. An officer at the station mentioned that I could find him here..." Roxanne said, only sort-of half lying.

"I'm sorry, miss," the receptionist told her. "He's very busy right now and is not seeing anyone except for emergencies only."

"Oh, dear," Roxanne said, biting her lip in dismay. "I really needed to speak with him." Putting on her best distressed face, she clutched at the counter, leaning forward, her big blue eyes imploring. "Can you at least tell him I came by? It's really very important." Her lower lip quivered.

The receptionist blinked in surprise and her stoic exterior seemed to melt a little. "I-I'll leave a message with the receptionist upstairs, but that's all I can do."

"Oh, thank you," Roxanne gushed, plucking a tissue from the woman's desk, dabbing at her eyes.

The woman nodded a little awkwardly and then picked up her phone. Roxanne looked up in time to see what she dialed. Smirking behind the tissue, Roxanne wandered away from the desk. Judging by the number, Quimby was somewhere on the fourth floor.

Hal was waiting for her when she headed over towards the elevators. "Wow, Roxy. Are you going for the Oscars, or what?" he asked, seemingly amused.

Roxanne threw the tissue away and put a hand on her hip. "Well, after years of being kidnapped by the most melodramatic person on the planet, you learn a thing or two."

"I'm sure that he'd be proud," Hal said with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh, hush, Hal," Roxanne said, waving her hand. "Now we just have to-"

"-Oh yeah, that's why I was coming to get you. Check out the elevators," Hal said, leaning in to her in hush hush manner.

The reporter frowned and looked that way. There were a couple of security guards waltzing around, one of them entering an elevator whenever the doors opened as one exited, attempting but failing to be inconspicuous. Roxanne frowned, turning away, looking thoughtful. "Damn," she muttered, putting a finger to her chin, staring to pace. "They are _up_ to something."

"You're talking to yourself again, Roxie," Hal called after her.

Roxanne walked, brow furrowed in thought, wandering away from the main area to think. As she headed down the hallway by the water fountain and the restrooms, a movement caught her eye. A swinging door labeled "employees only" swung back and forth slowly after a man exited it. Past it she could see the service elevators.

The nosy reporter felt a smirk grow on her face and she glanced all around before hastily slipping through the still closing door. She shut it carefully behind her and turned to look around. No one was there. Perfect.

Vaguely, she heard Hal outside calling for her. "Roxie? Rox-a-roo? Oh no, not again," he groaned.

_Sorry, Hal, you're just a bit too conspicuous for this,_ Roxanne mentally apologized before moving into the room further.

She stepped over to the elevator and pressed the button. Waiting anxiously for it to come, she glanced around and over her shoulder a couple of times. She didn't want to get caught in here.

Finally, the elevator came and she slipped inside with a sigh of relief. Pressing four, she stepped back and leaned against the gray wall as it lurched and started to rise again. What was going on? Why was everything leading to this hospital? It couldn't really be a family emergency, could it? And if it was, why would there be all the secrecy? It didn't make _any_ sense.

With a ding, the doors opened and she once more sighed in relief, starting to step out... only to come face to face with a young police officer. "May I help you, miss?" he asked suspiciously as he loomed over her.

Roxanne stared for a moment and then laughed a little awkwardly, wiggling her fingers in a wave before hitting the Door Close button.

* * *

It was amazing how little elected officials could get done in several hours.

The rag tag 'secret' group found themselves still on the topic of Megamind's supernatural powers, or lack thereof.

"For the _last time_, Megamind can't turn you into a pig, or a doughnut, or a lobster for that matter!" the Warden tried to explain to the Mayor.

"But what about-" the Mayor began, starting in on yet another 'what if' scenario.

The Warden was fed up. "He can't turn you into anything! He's not magical! He has an over-sized _brain_, not _magic powers_!"

Bernard, not willing to let his amusement die so easily, nodded. "Although he _could_ have supernatural psychic abilities that we don't know about yet. With the size of his brain who knows what secrets of the mind he has unlocked."

When the Mayor squeaked with renewed fear, the Warden shot Bernard an intense look of loathing. Bernard gave the older man his very best half-smirk that only really looked like a grimace.

Chief Quimby groaned and made the Mayor sit back down in his chair. "Pigs, doughnuts, lobsters, and psychic powers aside, _what_ do you think he'll do, Warden?"

The Warden looked at them all and sighed. "I've been trying to explain to you that if he had any plans, he would have followed through already." Crossing his arms, the gruff old man leaned back in his chair. "He's a brat and a villain, but he's not stupid. He knows he didn't win. He's probably sulking in his lair. If he thinks Metro Man is coming back, he won't do anything drastic."

The Mayor looked to Bernard, the Voice of Doom, apprehensively.

The crazy haired man rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh, as if it was a huge chore to talk. "Megamind has a huge ego. The Warden's probably right. If he thought that he had _won_ anything, he would have probably pranced up to City Hall playing _Highway to Hell_ with an entire Brain Bot powered laser light show behind him."

The Warden sighed again and rubbed his temples. "What we have to worry about is him getting bored. Or deciding to try and call Metro Man back by demonstration rather than communication."

The Mayor went back to gnawing on his fingernails in dismay.

A knock sounded at the door, and everyone in the room froze. When the person at the door spoke up, saying, "Chief? We have a problem," Quimby stood up, frowning, and walked to the door, opening it.

He stared dumbly down at the face of one ace reporter Roxanne Ritchi, who smiled innocently at him, the officer's hand at her shoulder.

"I caught her snooping around, Chief," the young officer explained.

Quimby's eyes looked up from the reporter to the young man. "...So you brought her here."

"Well, I- She practically begged me not to take her to you so I knew that something was-" he began before he stopped short, mouth gaping in realization.

Quimby sighed, rubbing his temples. "Go back to your post, officer."

"Yes, sir," the young man mumbled, face burning as he let go of Roxanne's shoulder. "Miss Ritchi," he nodded to her, embarrassed, before he fled. Roxanne waved at his retreating back.

After the door was closed, Roxanne turned to face the group, clasping her hands behind her back. "Well, _well_, gentlemen, having a party?" she asked with an impish smile.

Quimby groaned, hiding his face in his hands and the Mayor squeaked. "A party? Why, what do you mean Miss Ritchi? There's nothing out of the ordinary going on here."

"Oh, yes, the city's top officials are all meeting in an employee lounge in a hospital and absolutely nothing's going on," Roxanne said, crossing her arms over her chest.

The Mayor leaned towards Quimby slowly and whispered loudly out of the corner of his mouth, "I think she's buying it."

If he hadn't known better, the police chief would have thought that the Mayor was being sarcastic. "Yes, well, Miss Ritchi, the fact remains is that you should not be here."

Roxanne dropped her arms and put her hands on her hips. "I want to know what's going on. This all has to do with Metro Man's 'family emergency', which I already _know_ is a lie, so what is going on? _Really_."

"Now, Miss Ritchi, I assure you that-"

"-Don't lie to me," Roxanne began, eyes narrowing. "I know him well enough to know his family situation and he would _not_ disappear for a 'family emergency'. Especially not one that would keep him away an entire day. Especially not one that is as likely a day for a Megamind attack as the anniversary of their first fight!"

Quimby set his jaw. "Miss Ritchi, there are things going on that it would just be best if you stayed out of."

"I'm a reporter, Chief Quimby. You know I don't stay out of anything," she replied sweetly. She was starting to wonder what exactly she had gotten herself into, however. Mainly, she was worried about Wayne, but this seemed to be bigger than what she'd expected.

The chief was about to open his mouth again, clearly growing agitated, but the Warden spoke up and walked over to the young woman. "Quimby. I've dealt with Miss Ritchi a few more times than you have, and I can safely say that she knows when to keep quiet on things. Metro Man keeps her confidence and so should we." He set a hand on Roxanne's shoulder and the reporter blinked up at him in surprise.

Quimby sighed heavily and rubbed at his eyes, defeated by this show of trust. "Show her then," he said to them wearily. "It'd be easier to just show her. Just... Miss Ritchi," he said, looking at her straight in the eye, "you need to realize that this can't get out to the public, at least... at least not yet. It is vitally important that you swear to us on your journalistic integrity that you will not reveal what's going on."

Roxanne frowned deeply but nodded slowly in consent. "...All right. I can agree to those terms." _'Not yet' being an important part of them,_ she thought to herself. Quimby nodded and she could tell that something about this was really rattling him, and the others to some extent. Although Bernard was... Bernard and the Mayor was easily rattled anyway. However, she understood the importance of keeping some things secret. If she had run off and told everyone where Metro Man's 'hideout' was, not only would he have never trusted her again, he would have changed locations and it would have been for nothing. Not only that, but he didn't deserve people knowing where to hound him on the rare occasion he wasn't saving the day. She wasn't a _psycho_ reporter, after all.

The Warden nodded. "Glad to hear it," he said drolly, patting her shoulder. "Come on, this way." He steered her out of the lounge, back out into the waiting room and headed down a hallway with her, leaving the rest of the room not knowing what to do.

Bernard glanced at the tired police chief and the Mayor, who was nervously packing away another bag of chips. The expert on their resident aliens sighed heavily. "Well," he began, dead pan. "They're gone. Let's start that party."

* * *

The Warden stopped Roxanne in front of one of the rooms. He held up a hand before she could reach for the handle. "Now, the doctors are very busy, so just be quiet, all right?"

"Of course," Roxanne said, raising an eyebrow. The reporter opened the door and stood in the threshold, peering around the door. She couldn't see the entirety of the room, for there were a few doctors and nurses milling about, talking quietly, but through the gaps of their coats she could just barely see to the bed, and the figure laying on it.

After a long moment she pulled back and shut the door once more, and then just stared blankly at the wood. The Warden looked at her from the corner of his eye.

"You alright?" he asked her.

She nodded slowly, despite the awful feeling rolling around in the pit of her stomach. After another moment she took a deep breath before turning to face him and demanding, "How did it happen?"

The Warden glanced at the door before he turned back to her and shook his head. "We don't know. And they," he gestured to the door to indicate the doctors inside, "can't figure it out."

Roxanne turned to look back at the shut door, staring, shell shocked. Of all the possibilities she had thought of to explain Metro Man's disappearance, this was not one of them. It didn't make the list, hell, it hadn't made it into her train of _thought_ on the subject.

The Warden placed an understanding hand on her shoulder. "You look like you could use a stiff drink. They don't have any here but I'll send an officer to get one. Or have Quimby do it." He patted her shoulder and started back down the hall. "In the mean time there should be some form of snack food in the lounge, providing the Mayor hasn't already eaten the entire vending machine."

Roxanne stared after the old man before following automatically, looking back at the door only once. A drink did sound like a good idea, after all.

* * *

The blackboards of the Evil Lair usually saw a lot of abuse whenever Megamind was going through a session of brainstorming, and now wasn't any different. Their surfaces were covered with half-drawn schematics that had been abandoned when the villain's brain went faster than his hands, doodled drawings when his mind wandered places he didn't want it to go. Many of the half-drawn plans were scribbled through. Post-its were liberally scattered along the boards, but there were far more crumpled into a pile on the floor than actually stuck at eye-level. Not too far away from the drawing board and against the wall was a hunk of scrap metal that at one point might have taken shape into a pair of water skis with spikes on them.

There was a trail of scrap paper and pieces of chalk leading away from the boards, following all the way to the monitors of the lair, which flashed in time with the TV programs being broadcast. There Megamind sat in his chair, sulkily glaring at the screens, his cape wrapped around his knees and a half-eaten bucket of ice cream clutched to his chest. He was definitely _not_ periodically pouting at a certain monitor that showed the inside of the real observatory.

Maybe kidnapping Roxanne again wasn't such a bad idea after all...

That train of thought was interrupted when something came out of the speakers connected to that monitor, and Megamind jumped up, the ice cream falling to the ground with a splat, before he gripped the edges of the monitor and tried to peer around the observatory. "Metro Man? !" he said with a hopeful grin.

"_Bowg._" The image shown on the monitor shook.

Megamind's grin fell and his shoulders slumped. "Oh."

"_Bowg. Bowg_?"

"No, no, you have to stay there. We must be prepared for when he returns!" Megamind told the Camera Bot, giving a lackluster gesture of expectant triumph.

"_Boooowg..._"

Megamind sighed, discouraged. "Alright, alright, come back to the lair."

"_Bowg_!"

The villain returned to his leather chair, slumping back with a squeak to resume his sulking. The observatory monitor now showed only static, the Camera Bot having left the area.

He glared at his fallen ice cream before pulling his legs up and hugging his knees to his chest, his cape draping over his shoulders to cover his body like a blanket.

This sucked.

* * *

A couple drinks (that didn't even get her buzzed) and one uncomfortable nap in a hard plastic chair later, Roxanne Ritchi found herself still in the employee lounge on the fourth floor of Metro City General Hospital.

She was barely listening to the city officials, and Bernard, talking about the situation. It just seemed so unreal. She still wasn't sure that it was really happening. It could be one long, involved, elaborate dream.

However, when the conversation turned to what to do next, she tuned back in without even realizing it.

"No one can figure it out. Even those guys that flew in from the west coast don't even know what to make of it. We've wracked the brain of every genius and every specialist everywhere and still nothing," the Mayor said with a groan, putting his head in his hands.

Quimby glanced in Bernard's direction and the curator held up his hands. "Don't look at me, I'm an Authority not a Doctor."

The police chief sighed heavily. "Well, then what do we do next? Do we just... wait it out?"

Roxanne actually stood up at that. "We can't do that, he needs us to do _something_!"

Startled by her outburst, Quimby jumped before rubbing his face, trying to remain calm. "Miss Ritchi, we've explored every possibility. There's nothing else we can think of. If you have a better suggestion, please, do tell."

The reporter crossed her arms. "You haven't explored every possibility. There are resources you haven't tapped yet."

Quimby stared at her blankly. "And what, pray tell, would those resources be?"

Everyone in the room was looking at her, waiting for an answer, and Roxanne stared at them. "You guys _are_ aware that we have a super genius living in the industrial district, right?"

The Warden seemed to consider it, but before he could speak up, the Mayor squeaked out, "NO!"

Roxanne put her hand on her hip and turned to look at him seriously. "Look, I don't necessarily like it that much either. But it's something to look into and you can't come up with _anything else_ so why not?"

"That's not the point! He'll-" the Mayor began but was cut off by Quimby's hand slapping over his mouth.

"What the Mayor is trying to say, Miss Ritchi, is that Megamind's not only a super genius but a super _villain_. He's not going to help. If he found out what was really going on, he'd... do that laser light show Bernard was talking about!" the chief said, finally releasing the Mayor once he decided the man wasn't going to ramble on about piggies and doughnuts again.

Bernard shrugged and nodded that this could, in fact, be the case. "It's a possibility. He does like light shows."

"But," the Warden interjected. "We also established that he would only do that if he felt like he had iwon/i. Which he didn't. So he probably won't."

"But what if he _does_?" the Mayor demanded. "The point that I was _trying_ to make," the Mayor eyeballed Quimby and batted away the man's hands before they could cover his mouth again, "is that Megamind is a villain who has terrorized the city countless times! What if the minute he finds out what's going on, he decides to take over the city? Or what if he tries to finish the job? Or what if he was responsible from the start and it's all just an evil genius trick? The city would be in great danger!"

Quimby stared at the Mayor and sighed a bit. Sometimes he forgot how the man made it into office, then something always reminded him. It was like the man had split personalities. Honestly, sometimes Quimby wondered if the man simply played the role of bumbling politician. Something had to keep getting him re-elected term after term.

The Warden crossed his arms over his chest, unfazed by the Mayor's sudden serious-ness. "We can 'what if' ourselves until we're blue in the face, but the fact of the matter is that one of three things is going to happen. One, he's going to get bored and do something on his own. Two, we tell him and he decides to take over the city with this new found knowledge. Or three, we tell him and he agrees to help."

Roxanne nodded in agreement. "If we do nothing, eventually he is going to do _something_ villainous. If we catch him while he's... out of his element, he may agree. But doing nothing doesn't even have the 'maybe he'll help' option included."

Quimby groaned and rubbed his temples. "I don't know..." he muttered.

To the surprise of everyone in the room, the Mayor spoke up again. "...Well, fine! If he _agrees_ then he can help. …I guess," he said begrudgingly. "-But he won't agree. So there," he said stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Roxanne scowled and quite obviously took it as a challenge. "Fine then. While you sit around here doing nothing, _I'm_ going to go ask him. At least it's better than sitting here worrying about him turning you into a pig." She turned to the door and glanced over her shoulder. "Although, if you keep eating like that you'll turn into one all on your own."

The Mayor sputtered indignantly as Roxanne stalked out the door with her heels clicking behind her. The Warden watched her leave, one eyebrow raised. With a sigh, he pushed himself off from the wall. "Well, I guess I'll go make sure she doesn't bully him too much," he said, heading after the reporter.

"Have fun," Bernard said dryly, waving after the older man.

* * *

One of the six elevators dinged on the Lobby floor and Hal looked up from where he had been sitting in a very uncomfortable chair to see Roxanne stepping out of the doors. "Oh, Roxanne, thank God. There you are- hey where are you going? ..With the Warden? Did you get _arrested_?"

"-Do I _look_ arrested to you? I don't have time to explain. Hold down the fort!" and with that the reporter exited the hospital with the Warden.

"Sure thing! I'll hold down the- Wait, what fort? The _lobby_ fort?" Hal complained. When he received no reply he slumped back down in his seat, sulking. He really hated hospitals. After what seemed an eternity, but was only just a few minutes, he looked around awkwardly.

It didn't take long for him to notice that there was an older looking woman sitting in a nearby chair, just _staring_ at him. He thought she looked a _little_ familiar. Hot pink hair was hard to miss, and it sort of looked like it was moving, but not really. It could just be the air conditioning. _Yeah it's probably just the air conditioning_, he reasoned. The red head let his gaze wander around the not-very-busy lobby again. When he looked back, she was _still staring_ at him.

An uncontrollable "Uh," escaped his lips and she smirked as she caught his gaze. Raising a fishnet clad hand, she waved and seemed to strike a sexy pose, which just looked really awkward. Not only were those chairs far too large and stiff to actually sit in like that, the woman had to at least be fifty years old.

Quickly, Hal busied himself counting all the tiny tiles making up the floor at his feet.

Cougars creeped him the hell out.

* * *

"So, how did you figure out that his lair is in the industrial district?" the Warden asked casually as he turned off the highway and into the district in question.

Roxanne was looking out the window intently. "Well, they were out of knock out spray so I was awake for the ride back to my apartment. I was only blindfolded so I managed to peek out at one point when Minion wasn't looking."

"I see..." the Warden said, glancing over at her and then back at the road. "But you don't know what his lair looks like. It may take a while to find him."

"I figured out that his plan involved using the real observatory as a decoy to try and trap Metro Man, so all we have to do is look for a building with a fake observatory on the roof."

The Warden looked at again her for a brief moment before returning his attention to the road, his mouth twitching slightly, almost as if it wanted to smile. "Used your own intelligence against you, didn't he?"

Roxanne sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yes."

"Yeah, he does that. The brat," he said almost fondly.

Roxanne glanced over at the man. "-So, when I was kidnapped for the entire day, Minion mentioned something about Megamind growing up in prison? What does that-"

"Oh, look, we're here," the Warden said, bringing the car to a halt.

Roxanne blinked in surprise and then back out the window. Sure enough, there was a very large building... with a very, very fake observatory on the roof.

* * *

Truth be told, Megamind would not have been all _that_ surprised if Roxanne Ritchi were to show back up at his hide out.

However, when the monitors showed not only the nosy reporter, but the Warden as well, there was much screeching heard in the background as Minion spoke over the disguised intercom. "Sorry, Miss Ritchi, no one is home. Not... that anyone ever is home, because no one lives here. Ever."

Roxanne face palmed before dragging her fingers down over her face. "Minion, I need- we need- to talk to him-" she began but was cut off by more screeching.

She heard Minion's garbled protesting and Megamind making some sort of less screeched, more muffled exclamation before a monitor sprung out of the supposed brick wall, getting in her face.

A giant, zoomed in, green eyeball was all that she could see as Megamind's voice boomed over the intercom in his most menacing voice. "Didn't you hear him, Miss Ritchi? No one lives here! Go away!"

Roxanne simply stared back at the eyeball, unimpressed. "Look. Megamind, we really need to talk to you." When the green eye narrowed and a hand reached up to fiddle with the camera controls, she quickly added, "Please."

Megamind paused and stepped back to look at the monitor properly, frowning at Roxanne's image. Something wasn't right.

Roxanne chewed on her lower lip lightly, wondering what was going on in that giant blue head. She'd never seen him make such an... unreadable face before.

Finally, he groaned and rolled his head back, covering his face with his hands, dragging his fingers down not unlike Roxanne did before. "Fine!" he exclaimed in exasperation. "But I'm coming out there! Turn around, both of you! ...And close your eyes too!"

The Warden sighed and Roxanne let out a frustrated noise, but the two complied and turned around, closing their eyes. It was far too important that they get to talk to him.

Megamind stuck a Brain Bot just far enough out of the holographic entrance to the lair so that it could use its eyeball.

It _bowg_'d the affirmative that the Warden and Miss Ritchi's backs were turned. Since they were turned it couldn't tell him whether or not they had closed their eyes.

Megamind nodded sharply and let the Brain Bot go back inside. He then carefully tiptoed out of the secret entrance and dashed down the length of the building about ten feet.

"All right!" he called. "You can look now!"

Roxanne rolled her eyes as she opened them, turning to look. She blinked at the brick wall in front of her, then over to where Megamind stood, waving. The reporter glanced down at her feet where a brown doormat lay. Then, she looked back at Megamind. "...You know," she said off-handedly. "There's a doormat here that says 'Secret Entrance'."

The genius quickly glanced at her and then at the doormat. Then he looked back to her and then he outright _glared_ at the solid brick wall. "Minion!" he hissed loudly.

Minion stepped through the holographic wall and looked at him sheepishly and apologetically. "I kept forgetting where it was."

Megamind groaned and put his head in his hands.

Roxanne glanced at the Warden and then back at the little blue villain. "-Look. Megamind, we need you to-"

And then Villain and Minion started to argue. Something about "Dim witted creation of science!" and how "That was a low blow, sir. Below the fish belt!"

Then it escalated to name calling and Roxanne gritted her teeth. They were getting nowhere fast. "_HEY!_" she shouted.

Both of them froze mid-insult. The villain paused from where he had started to climb on top of his friend's robotic suit to get in his fishy face and Minion stopped as he was about to lift his boss up off of him and they both turned their heads to look at her. (Well, in Minion's case he turned his whole body within the watery dome.) Even the Warden looked mildly surprised by her outburst.

Roxanne fixated her glare on Megamind, who was hastily climbing down off of Minion and attempting to save face. "_Look_," she said through gritted teeth. "We. Need. Your. Help."

He stared at her as if she had grown another head. "You need _my_ help? Have you both gone crazy? Just because your hero is off on some "family emergency" or whatever, doesn't mean I'm going to-"

"It wasn't a family emergency," the Warden said, speaking up. "That was just what the Mayor told the public."

Megamind's brow furrowed as he frowned and he did his best to ignore the feeling of dread that was welling up in his gut and chilling him to the bone. "...So where exactly is he?" he asked. He was surprised at how quiet the question came out.

Roxanne took a deep breath. "...He's at Metro General Hospital. Unconscious."

Minion's jaw dropped to the bottom of his fishbowl and Megamind _stared_ at her. His eyes flicked over to the Warden, who nodded that she was, in fact, telling the truth. Had it not been for the Warden's presence and Roxanne's grim expression, he wouldn't have believed it. He would have laughed. It would have had to have been a joke, a trick, right?

No. Not this time.

"-What happened?" he blurted, cursing himself for sounding even remotely concerned.

"We-" Roxanne began, glancing over at the Warden then back to the little villain. "We don't... know. No one does. And the doctors can't even figure out what's wrong with him."

"...And what exactly do you expect me to do about it?" Megamind asked weakly, trying to sound authoritative, failing abysmally. He cleared his throat to cover for it.

"...Well you're a super genius, right? And you've known each other for so long..." Roxanne began. "If anyone can figure out what's going on with him, it'd be you."

Megamind flushed ever so slightly at her acknowledgement of his genius and already the wheels were turning in his head, but- No! He straightened his back. "I'm..." he voice warbled and he cleared his throat again. "I'm the the bad guy! Villains don't... help their super heroes, or their kidnapees!" he declared, pointing his finger towards the sky dramatically.

Roxanne's ever so slightly hopeful look turned into a scowl. "-Listen, you little twerp-"

"No! No matter how much you beg me, I won't do it!" Megamind said loudly, not even seeming to listen to her. He waved his hands back and forth in a 'no can do' gesture.

The Warden rolled his eyes. The boy hadn't changed one bit. With a sigh, the man started heading back to the car. He was always such a little drama queen.

Megamind was still going. As soon as Roxanne opened her mouth he was talking again. "I said no! Didn't you hear me? Although, really, you are all useless and small brained... Why, your- it's amazing your Hero is still alive with such incompetence looking over him!" he said, putting the back of his hand to of his forehead. He sighed dramatically. "All right, all right, you've worn me down. I accept your- Wh- Hey! Warden! I said I was coming! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" he yelped, dashing after the man.

Roxanne stared after him, perplexed.

Minion walked up behind her and patted her shoulder with his robotic hand. "It's okay, Miss Ritchi. Warden knows that the boss really wants to help. He also knows that Sir won't come right out and say it."

And so the two watched as the Warden looked over his shoulder and started backing the car up. Megamind, who had caught up with the man at just the wrong time, had his cape caught in the door and was dragged after the backing up car, running to keep from falling onto the ground.

"...Do you think he'll stop the car?" Roxanne asked casually, raising an eyebrow as Megamind threw himself onto the hood of the vehicle to avoid a building corner.

Minion looked thoughtful. "Oh, yes. Probably. ...Eventually. ...Maybe." The fish trailed off and his little forehead creased in slight worry. "...I'd better go get the invisible car. Hopefully we can catch up with them before the Warden gets on the interstate."

* * *

When four figures walked into the secret meeting room, one the Warden, one Roxanne, and the other two strangers both with a distinct lack of blue skin pigment, the Mayor visibly sighed in relief, slumping into his chair. The Chief blinked and Bernard also sighed as he rolled his eyes. "There!" the Mayor said, satisfied. "I _told_ you he wouldn't come! Next time you should all listen to me when I say something, I _know_ what I'm talking abou-."

As he spoke, Roxanne casually reached over to the shorter of the two strangers and twisted a dial on the man's watch. The Mayor's voice died as Megamind, Incredibly Handsome Criminal Genius and Master of all Villainy, flickered into view.

The Mayor's face stayed frozen in his short-lived triumphant expression for a long, stunned moment before his jaw dropped and he tried to make words, but all that came out was a short but shrill squeak.

Megamind watched him with vague amusement, turning to smirk at Roxanne. "That was positively evil of you, Miss Ritchi. I'm impressed."

Roxanne's lips curved ever so slightly into what the villain thought was a delightfully wicked smile. "Sometimes it's fun."

Bernard had suddenly and suspiciously appeared on the other side of the room the moment Roxanne had reached for the watch, although he didn't seem phased in the slightest at the reveal.

Quimby had taken a few steps back in surprise, finding himself wanting to reach for his firearm, yet at the same time, convinced it wouldn't do anything to protect him or anyone else in the room. It was all well and good to theorize about Megamind and what he would do and oh hey, maybe he'd help, but with the villain no more than seven feet away? Well, it was a different animal entirely. His hand did start to move towards his holster but then the taller of the two strangers stepped forward and in front of the Master of all Villainy, taking off a blond wig in the process.

While the Mayor squeaked out "His Minion is here too? !" Megamind rolled his eyes and nudged Minion back to the side.

"That won't be necessary, Chief. I'm also sure you know it wouldn't be very useful even if it was," the genius said smoothly, his smile smug and radiating confidence. He bounced a bit on his heels. Striking terror into the hearts of the mindless masses always did put him in a better mood.

Roxanne rolled her eyes.

The Warden shook his head. "Come on, enough playing," he said, admonishing Megamind like a parent would a small child.

The villain scowled and almost pouted. "Fine!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation. His face fell, assuming the sulking frown that had been his expression for the better part of a day and a half, and he stalked back over to the door. The Warden held it open for him and the little blue alien stormed out under the taller man's arm, his cape swooshing after him unhappily.

Quimby stared after him, hand still frozen halfway to his gun. Minion glanced at the police chief, then at his gun. It was all the man could do to not cower. The fish finally decided to give him a break and turned to follow after his friend and charge.

Once Minion had exited the room, the police chief sat down heavily in one of the plastic lounge chairs. "That. Is one scary fish," he stated, letting out a shaky breath. The Mayor furiously nodded his agreement.

* * *

Megamind stepped into the room, but stopped short in the threshold, any bravado he had left vanishing. A shiver went down his spine as he stared at the unnerving sight before him.

_This is wrong,_ he thought desperately, taking a few faltering steps towards his fallen adversary.

Metro Man, once so proud and strong, lay prone along the length of the hospital bed. There were no monitors hooked up and thus no annoying beeping sounds echoing through the room like he'd seen on TV, but the villain found the lack thereof all the more nerve-racking, if only because the silence seemed to enhance the man's ragged breathing. The hero's forehead was creased in a constant grimace of pain, and Megamind suddenly realized that he'd never, _ever_ seen the man in such a... weak state before.

The villain would have remained stunned for a much longer amount of time had he not heard a shifting sound in the corner of the room, and he twisted around, startled and annoyed at being caught in a moment of uncertainty.

There was a male nurse, stationed to keep an eye on Metro Man's state and report any changes, who had stood up in alarm when Megamind had stepped into the room. The young man stood rigid, eyes focused a spot on the floor across the room and deliberately avoiding eye contact with the villain. Nervous sweat had gathered at his temple, and Megamind sneered. He straightened, long years of practice enabling him to successfully look down his nose at someone who was a good foot taller than him.

"I think it would be in your best interest if you left now," Megamind said in his best threatening voice. To anyone but the Warden, Roxanne, Metro Man, or Minion, it was probably the most terrifying voice they had ever heard.

The nurse swallowed heavily, obviously scared out of his mind, before he himself straightened, stating, "N- no."

Megamind raised an eyebrow. _What?_

The young man continued, eyes wide in terror but still defiant as a bead of sweat rolled down his face. "I- I'm sorry, Mr. Megamind, but my post is to remain here until I'm relieved of duty. I..." he faltered, unsure. "I won't... leave."

The villiain's eyes narrowed before he drew his De-gun from its holster, making the young man let out a choked gasp. Before he could dehydrate the annoying nurse, Minion, standing in the doorway(and blocking it with his bulk), spoke up, drawing out the word, "_Sir_..."

Megamind looked up at his companion before he sighed with a "hmph", re-holstering his gun. He knew perfectly well that it would be a bad idea for him to antagonize those in the other room (that is, Miss Ritchi and the Warden) at this point in time, something which dehydrating nurses all willy-nilly would do.

He glared at the nurse in question before turning for the door, looking to get rid of him. Minion, however, was still blocking the doorway and seemed like he wasn't going to move any time soon; Megamind noticed that the fish was staring at the prone hero on the bed, dumbfounded from the sight. Megamind understood; the sight was unnerving, and he deliberately kept his back to the bed.

"_Minion_," he stressed, pushing at the robot body uselessly. Minion blinked and looked down at him.

"R-right, Sir..." He moved back out into the hall, letting Megamind through. Before the villain left the room completely though, he paused for a long moment, debating with himself, before he turned his head and looked back over his shoulder. After so many years of fighting the hero and trying to defeat him, he'd never once imagined what it would be like to actually see the super powered man defenseless, helpless... unconscious. It was the most disturbing sight he had ever seen. Metro Man had been a constant in his life since childhood, and the thought of that constant disappearing, the thought of that cocky goody-two-shoes dying... It left an awful feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The super villain set his jaw, turned to face forward once more, and walked back into the employee lounge purposefully with Minion in tow. His expression was surprisingly serious, earning him a couple raised eyebrows, a grimace, a deadpan stare, and a whimper of dismay from the various occupants. "Before I do _anything_," Megamind began, eyeing the group before him with suspicion. "I have a few conditions." The villain crossed his arms, his gaze steady and serious.

Roxanne narrowed her eyes. "Conditions?" she demanded, expecting something as ridiculous and outrageous as his inventions tended to be.

"Yes. Conditions, Miss Ritchi. I'm not going to do this if they think I'll just waltz right back to Prison after doing my _good deed_," Megamind said, drawing out the last part of the sentence with heavy sarcasm.

Roxanne blinked and then glanced over to where Quimby managed to look guilty. She fought the urge to roll her eyes. As if they could actually capture him with Minion there and Metro Man still recovering.

Megamind _did_ roll his eyes at the Police Chief and then leaned against the wall. "Rule number one: I am doing this of my own free will. I am not a prisoner, I am not turning myself in, and I will not be once I am done." His eyes narrowed. "If you have an issue with that I will leave right now and you all can figure it out on your own."

Getting no response, he nodded sharply. "Rule number two: The same goes for Minion. The two of us will come and go as we please.

"Thirdly, if you really want to keep the people from finding out about this, cordon off one of the wards. This hospital is _never_ full. Then you all can sit out in a waiting room instead of this..." He glanced around distastefully. "-inadequate space, while I work."

As the Mayor seemed to contemplate this, Megamind pressed on. "And finally, I don't want any interruptions. No random nurses, no outbursts about doughnuts-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Roxanne said, holding her hands up in a Time Out gesture. "You expect to be alone in there with him? I don't think so."

Megamind looked insulted. "What would I do? I could do whatever I wanted to _now._"

Roxanne narrowed her eyes. "I'm not stupid, Megamind, and neither are you. We both know that if you did anything to the city now and Metro Man got over whatever it is on his own, that you'd be back in jail in a flash." She crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her foot. "But if you pretended to help and got alone with him, you'd have all the time in the world to figure out how to finish the job."

Quimby groaned. "Don't put ideas in his head, Miss Ritchi."

"I'm not," Roxanne said, keeping her gaze locked on Megamind's. "He's already thought about it."

Megamind stared at her and then glanced away for a moment. Roxanne made a bit of a disgusted noise and his head snapped up and he actually scowled. "Yes, I _thought_ about it. I thought about every possibility, every option, and every outcome. I guarantee I came up with at least twenty-six possibilities you couldn't have dreamed of, and yet I'm still here, Miss Ritchi."

Roxanne blinked, looking taken aback.

"Doing what you suggested I might do would be incredibly efficient and wonderfully villainous, but Metro Man and I have Rules, Miss Ritchi. And taking advantage of this moment would be incredibly unsporting."

Roxanne stared at him in disbelief. "Rules? What, did you two write a _playbook_?"

"That information is classified," he sniffed, inspecting the seam of his gloves like he would his fingernails if they were exposed. That was a yes.

Roxanne's eye twitched, as did her hands at her sides. She had just started to raise them in a strangling gesture when Quimby spoke up. "Rules or not, you can't expect us to just let you do as you please in there. You _are_ the villain, after all."

Megamind scowled and crossed his arms. "I _am_ the villain," he reaffirmed, half to remind them and... half to remind himself. "But those simpletons will just get in my way!"

"We've called in the most advanced-" the Warden began.

"-The most advanced simpletons. They haven't found anything and they won't find anything. They can't comprehend even half of the-"

"-Well _someone_ is going to have to-"

"I'll have _Minion_-"

"-doesn't count, he's on your side-"

"-I wouldn't be _alone_ though-"

"-How about Bernard-"

"_No._" stated Megamind _and_ Bernard at the same time. They gave each other a dirty look.

"I have things to do at the prison. I can't spend my time babysitting-"

"-don't _need_ to be babysat anymore-"

"_I'LL_ do it!" Roxanne shouted, finally fed up, surprising everyone in the room.

They all turned to face her and she couldn't help but feel a bit defensive. "_What_? I'll do it. I'll stay in the room with Dr. Evil here and make sure he doesn't do anything."

"-Don't you dare compare me to that-"

"-Miss Ritchi," Quimby began, "I hardly think that you could- that is, that you _should_-" He winced, knowing he was digging himself into a deeper hole as Roxanne's glare grew more and more murderous.

"What, that I wouldn't be of any use if he _did_ try something? Hello? Just _look_ at him."

"Hey!" Megamind protested.

"...She does have a point..."

"What? !"

"Without his dehydration gun, I can handle him easy."

"EXCUSE ME? !"

The Warden regarded Roxanne for a long moment then sighed, rubbing his temples. "Very well, then..."

"You _can't_ be serious," Quimby said. "Even if- that is, even _though_ Miss Ritchi can handle Megamind, there's still his Minion. There isn't any way she cold overpower a six-hundred pound gorilla robot powered by a fish."

Minion spoke up suddenly. "What? !" he demanded, sounding extremely insulted. "I would _never_ hurt Miss Ritchi! Not _ever_!"

Quimby seemed surprised that Minion was upset. "I- ah- I meant no offense," he said lamely. "But you have to admit that if you wanted to ah, _restrain_ her, that you could."

Minion frowned and he flared out his fins and crossed his robotic arms angrily, still deeply offended. Roxanne walked over and put her hand on his furry shoulder. "It's all right, Minion, I know you wouldn't," she said comfortingly. "But they won't agree, otherwise."

Megamind groaned and dragged his hands down his face, making it a record breaking number of times in one day. "FINE!" he exclaimed suddenly before Minion could reply to Roxanne. "Miss Ritchi can come in, but that's _it_! Minion will need to bring me things from the Lair anyway." Roxanne crossed her arms, just staring evenly at him. He found it very disconcerting and coughed. "So what are you all waiting for?" he demanded, looking to the Mayor and Quimby. "Are you going to get the ward sectioned off or do you want to stay in Vending Machine Land for who knows how long?"

The Mayor glanced at Quimby apprehensively. The police chief rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, doing a rather good impression of Bernard as he stalked to the door to go find one of the doctors to talk to.

Bernard glanced after him and raised an eyebrow. "What's his problem?"


End file.
